Redemption

Part 11

I had to walk out of my cell and through the corridor containing all of my team, watching me carefully. All I could see was betrayal plastered on their faces, not because of Ward but because of me. They all wanted him gone, locked up but they needed to understand that he could help me. I wasn't entirely sure whether they were afraid of me, I could make them do anything or make them say and confess anything I wanted them to, I'd be afraid if I had anything to hide.

"I hope you know what you're doing" May spoke as I walked past her, not answering. Ward was following close behind me, watching them all. I still had this dark, horrible feeling inside of me and I didn't want to let it come out. I needed to control it and my emotions unless I'd become something I was not. Ward would be able to keep this demon inside of me, make sure I remained true to myself and that I didn't change. 

"Jess!" Lance shouted and I stopped walking as he approached me, he was the only one that seemed pissed off with me at the moment, he wasn't afraid either. "What the hell are you doing?" 

"What's right for me, I'm being selfish for once" I told him and he stared at me amazed by my stupidity. 

"You're putting all our lives in danger to have a fling!?" He shouted in my face but I barely blinked. 

"It's not a fling, it's to keep me true to who I am" 

"And you really think he'll do that? Not twist everything and turn you against us...Again" 

"He has no choice" I shrugged and he looked at me like he didn't even recognise me. I felt a strange pain in my heart by the way he looked at me, I felt like I dishonoured him, it was like he was ashamed of me. 

"I know that a lot has happened to you, especially recently but you don't have to become this" He whispered, keeping his voice calm as he tried to get through to me.

"I'm not becoming anything Hunter, if anything, I'm an advantage. We can take down Hydra so easily now! If they have guns, I can order them to drop them, if they try to hurt anyone I can make them stop!" I couldn't believe he wasn't realising this, I think that me becoming inhuman was the best thing possible for me right now! "We can win"

"All actions have consequences" He shook his head. "You used your power against Coulson, Jess. Not in the good way either. He's pissed, you need hang low unless you'll be the one that gets locked up" His expression changed to a worried one now which made me feel at ease. He was my brother again, caring about me and what would happen. He didn't need to though, I wasn't going anywhere.

"I'll speak to Coulson, I'll try not to use my powers but I want to go out on the field. I need to" I whispered, patting his shoulder gently before heading to Coulson's office. 

"I think you need to speak to him alone" Ward whispered, stopping outside. "I'll wait out here for you" I nodded at him before I opened the door and stepped inside. Coulson stood at the window with his back to the door, He seemed distant.

"We need to talk Coulson" I whispered closing the door behind me. "I know you're mad at me but you need to hear me out" 

"You betrayed my trust Jess" His words hit me like a dagger to the heart. I never really saw this side to Coulson because I was good to him, loyal. I had been in this situation before though, only it was vice versa. 

"Now you know how I felt" As soon as I said that he turned around, watching me sadly. "You betrayed me by keeping secrets, I betrayed you by using my power against you. Are we even now?"

"Not in the slightest" He shook his head and walked over to his desk. "But I'll hear what you have to say" He sat down slowly and watched me, waiting for me to speak. Could I trust Coulson? I had to tell someone and he seemed to be the best person to speak to about my problem. I needed to confide in someone and he was very good at keeping secrets.

"What I'm about to tell you stays between us" I whispered, pacing up and down in the room. I glanced at him to see him nod, looking a little confused by my actions and words. "I know that I haven't had my powers for long, hell, maybe I've had them for one hour or so? I don't know" I shrugged and stopped pacing. "But when I realised what I could do, the power I have over people...Coulson, there's something dark inside me that's begging me to release it" I studied his face but he remained focused on me, not giving anything away. "I'm scared that it'll come out, turn me into something evil, the opposite to what I am now and consume me. I don't want to hurt anyone but it feels so good when I use my powers. All I can feel is pain from everything and everyone but when I use my powers, influence people just by my words...I feel so powerful and the pain seems to vanish"

"You know we need to tell Daisy, right?" He finally spoke up and I shook my head.

"This is where Ward comes into it. He wants me to be happy and he knows that if I let this darkness take over, I'll be miserable. He'll make me fight it no matter what. He can keep me, well, me. I know you hate him, god, I hate him for everything he's done to us but I need him. He's experienced this feeling, he knows how to bury it so deep that It won't effect me anymore"

"It's too dangerous"

"And I'll be too dangerous if he doesn't stop it. I haven't got the strength to fight it on my own Coulson. Everyone thinks I'm weak and they're right, both emotionally and physically. This thing will take over and I'll bend every mind I can find" I slowly sat down opposite Coulson and held my face in my hands shaking my head. "It's like the devil is offering me peace but in return I have to brainwash everyone" I mumbled.

"You're stronger than you think...But if you think Ward will help you then I'll trust your judgement, whether I agree with it or not. I-We won't lose you Jess, not again, especially not to this. Daisy will need to help you keep it under control though. Until then you'll just have to stay at HQ"

"I want to go back into the field Coulson, I can help" I removed my hands from my face and stared at him. "I have a huge advantage now, any situation I can handle just with my words. I can protect us all-"

"You'll stay here. That's an order" I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to use my powers on him again, it'll only piss him off and lead him to doing something he doesn't want to do. I nodded slightly, not wanting to argue with him as I stood up and headed to the door.

"Sir, If you do ever need me, if the missions too dangerous please just say. I'll do anything to make up for what I have done to the team. I'll do anything to protect them" I whispered, opening the door and walking out. Ward remained outside, raising an eyebrow at me. 

"How'd it go? I didn't hear shouting so I'm guessing not that bad" He shrugged and I sighed deeply. 

"He won't let me back onto the team yet, I need to learn to control this power" I told him, smiling slightly to lift the depressing mood. "I think you'll be aloud though-"

"I'm not going out there without you" He shook his head, frowning slightly. "I'm only here to protect you Jess, not them"

"Aren't you here to protect me and my feelings? My interests?" I asked and he looked flustered, trying to scramble his mind for an answer. "My interests involve protecting Shield" 

"I'm not leaving you here alone"

"Do I have to make you?" I frowned and he grabbed my arms, looking into my eyes.

"Jess, remember what I said" He whispered and I took a few deep breaths. I couldn't use my powers like this, I only had to use them when I truly needed to. "This is why I'm staying, I can't come back from a mission to see that you've turned all Dr Evil on me" He smiled slightly and I nodded. 

"I need to use my powers to get control over them though. If I ignore them, If I push them to the side I will never truly have full control. I'll just be running away from my problems. If I face the problem now I can be happy" 

"I like your attitude. Training room, ten minutes" I turned to see Daisy standing there, smiling slightly at me before walking off. She wanted to help me, I mean, she was inhuman after all but I couldn't always rely on her. She only wanted to help me control my abilities so I could be at peace. It was something I had to do and hopefully, this darkness inside of me would remain locked up, hopefully it won't take over me.