It Was Night By Then (Vivaldi x reader)

Part 15: It hurts. It hurts a lot.

Author's POV
She laid there, sleeping like the beauty who have been casted with a spell. "______________...?" Vladimir whispered her name and she seems to have lost herself in her wonderous dreams or nightmare. Vladimir looked at her and pulled his hand away from her. "Sleep tight, Alice." He smiled and sighed in relief. He placed his hand again to her head and stroked her gently. "You're just like Athiene. (Pro: A-Thine)" He chuckled a bit. "Don't hurt yourself too much with love... like me." He frowned as he smiles, patting her gently. "Good afternoon, Sweet Alice. Enjoy your stay in Wonderland." Vladimir bent down to kiss her forehead and pulled away. He stood up, causing the bed to creak and bounce back up from the pressure of being sat. Vladimir moved to the table beside his bed and sat down. He took the ring out from his pocket and gaze at it. The word "HIM" was carved in the golden ring. His eyes became rather grim with his mouth set. "It turns out I have no hope after all," Vladimir sighed. His felt something choking his chest,m and his throat. "You're nothing left but ashes in my heart, Athiene." He placed the ring where it belonged. The same box of ring. Small square covered in red soft fanel cloth. A small red box containing the ring especially for wedding. "...I couldn't protect you." He smiled sadly then turned to look at her, the sleeping Alice. "But I won't let that happen again. For this girl. For Vivaldi."

*************6 hours later*****************

Vivaldi's POV

My eyes opened and the dark ceiling seemed to stay the same. Old, webbed and dusty. I had changed back to myself in my sleep. ...I cried myself to sleep. That's unmanly. I woke finding myself a wretched demon cat sleeping beside me, purring. At first thought, I had expected for _______________. Waking up to find her beside me gave me happiness. But now, it's just... just no one. At least a demon cat's here. I hugged the cat, kissed its head and sucked it's soul. I really am damned; Cursed. I couldn't touch any other. Only her. Again, I couldn't think of anyone else or things. Even if I did, it would return to her. I want her but I pushed her away. I killed the wretched demon which seemed to enter from somewhere. The barrier's getting breached I suppose. My eyes blinked several times to adjust the darkness. It's dark.

It's very dark.

It's very dark like my soul.

I jumped out from the bed to dispose the decaying body of the little demon. As I opened the door, I changed to a human. The people here are mostly descendants of angels, Fallen angels or demons, peculiars. Only several humans joined. If I showed them I'm an Eidolion, they'd freak out. My legs carried me to the closest incinerator I could find and I threw the poor thing down the fire, sending it back to hell. I spun around and seemed to hit someone. "Oh, sorry. I didn-," my jaws stopped and was left hanging. It was her. I bumped to her. "..." I pulled my jaws back with my muscles and avoided her eyes. "... move." She ordered. Her voice was cold. Her heart turned cold. Her presense felt like snow storm. I moved without answering her. I couldn't answer her. I changed her. I hurt her. "Leave." She glared at me. Her voice burned me inside like I'm entering hell. I didn't move. I couldn't bring myself to. My legs turned frozen and remained silent. She walked pass me and my heart felt ripped. I lost her. I lost the other part of me. I lost the woman who could love me to the core. For who I am. "Don't go..." I whispered to myself. I stayed. Standing here in front of the incinerator decorated with old brick stone. People watched me and passed me, thinking I am crazy. Vladimir came and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Vivaldi. You need to eat. It's dinner." He told me. "How am I suppose to eat? She's not going to give me any." I glared at him and Vlad pushed me from my back, the spine. "Get her. Say sorry to her. You're responsible for this. Not me." He smiled at me and he moved along and vanish through the crowds. I inhaled deeply and sighed. He was right. I should fix my own mess.

I turned around to see her talking with a tall man. Standing with his black fighting gear. The way he stood looked like he was impressing a girl. She stood there giggling, wearing a different set of clothes. A white dress decorated with patterns of black flowers, a thin white ribbon tied on her waist, puffed sleeves and her skirt that resembles a waterfall. ... She's not wearing my sweatshirt — my collar — now. Probably got rid of it. Her shoes were the same heels Vladimir had gave her. She looked adorable in that dress. She's giggling and blushing. That tall man should go. This little lamb is mine. Do not talk to her. She's mine, get away from her. I growled deeply with a menacing tone. My legs moved rather fast — not running — and I stomped along the way. People moved and avoided me, trying not to block my way because of my facial expression. I was angry. Very angry. I am furious about this. I stomped to her and she saw me. He face faltered and instead, she glared. "Leave me alone. We both did not want to see each other again." Her heart stabbed me, but I didn't care. "I lied." I frowned while glaring. "I fucking lied to you." I growled. "I want you and I really need you." My hands shook, trembling while I feel the anger flowing. Her lips moved a bit, but I stopped her. "Yeah I know we're just friends. But I'm in love with you." I pulled her, hands on her waist and on her cheek and I kissed her infront of these crowds. Hugging her tight under the bright lights of iridescence. Under these glowing lights of many colors. I didn't care anymore. My heart ached and ached. Too much of aching. It's killing me slowly. I pulled her in, deeper to me, sliding my tongue in. She pushed me — trying hard to — but eventually stopped. Her hands stayed on my chest, clutching my ripped tuxedo. Her tongue, Oh fuck, I longed for her kiss. This warm kiss. The same warmth she gave to me everytime I needed her.

The peculiars, the tall guy, the descendants of demons, angels and fallen angels, the humans and the rest saw us. They chattered and some gasped. Some whistled and some complained. I didn't want to pull away. I kept kissing her. I'm not satisfied. I want her to kiss me back. Kiss me back, lamb. Kiss me. I want you. I need you. I love you. I love you, ___________.

Her hands moved and her arms came hanging on my neck, her lips pressed me further and her tongue slid in. I never want to let go. I won't ever regret loving her. One of her arms moved away and something moved on my chest. It was her finger. She traced her finger on my chest and I groaned simply, asking for more from her. She's all mine. She's mine. She belongs to me. She's mine and she belongs to no one else but me. She pulled away and I whimpered slightly. If I did have wolf ears or tail, the ears would be down and the tail would stop wagging. "... Do you really... want me?" Her eyes was wide, staring at mine, reflecting the lights. "I want you. Give me all of you. I want all of you." My eyes were wet, my voice shook and I shed a tear. It was not manly. I'm weak. I'm very weak. "Please... give me all of you... tell me yes. Tell me a yes. I'm a greedy big bad wolf. I want you, I re-" I was stopped by a sudden pressure on my lips.
She kissed me before I could finish. She pulled away but I took her back in and kissed her. The tall guy cleared his throat and we broke our kiss. "Would you... mind...," he pointed the hall full of rooms. "Getting a room?" She blushed and I whipped my face away. "U-uh..." I stuttered. "I-it's a yes, right?"

"No- I mean- uh. Yes. Yes yes yes. Definite yes." She covered her mouth muffling all yes. "... I love you." I smiled at her, reliefed. "... I love you too." She smiled back and fixed her hair falling down to her side down to her shoulder and back. I love her smile. I love her. I love everything about her. Yeah she's not the most beautiful woman. But she's all I ever wanted.

.
.
.
.

If that was all easy. ... That's just my foolish imagination. She's there, still chatting to the tall guy in battle gear. She's talking to Jeese. I returned to my dark room. My stomach groaned. I'm hungry. I haven't ate. I haven't kissed.
... WE haven't kissed.

It hurts. It hurts a lot. It really hurts.

I lost you.

I lost you, _____________.

Because of my painful lies I told.

Because I'm a coward.

Because I couldn't do it.

I'm the fool.

Even so I love you.

But... when tomorrow comes,

I'll bid a goodbye to you.

I'll bid my love a goodbye.

----tbcontinued