Torment

SPARROW OF SORROWS

For a brief second the world stopped. Perhaps, even Burns' breathings stopped. But the pain- the pain was the only thing that never stopped, it kept spinning, twirling and revolving mercilessly continually ravishing her system. It burned her veins. The pain gnawed her entrails really slowly. Cell-by-cell, spasm after spasm, the sensation was agonising. She wanted to scream to shout, to throw a knife, to fire a rifle but she could not. Suddenly, everything was out of control. How could that be? Was it just a hideous trick of fate? The past and the present. The truth. The pain. It was too much she could hardly breathe. "Harriett." Burns gasped while blinking multiple times, unable to believe that the old governess was now standing in front of her. "How?" Her was voice shaking terribly.

For a second Burns turned to stare at Lydia and Dona who were just like her, they were unable to assimilate the fact that Harriett already came back from Palermo. She then glanced at Mesrour and Pilot to hide the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. "Ma-Ma'am Harriett?" Lydia said out loud. Her voice echoed in the horse stables. "Ah, eh- Lydia, halika na umalis na muna tayo." Good Lord, Dona was sensible enough to leave.

The moment the doors had closed, the moment they were left alone at the middle of the stables only with the horses and Pilot, Burns sniffed and hastily wiped the corner of her eyes, though the tears were just about to fall. "Jane-" She immediately turned to look at Harriett again.

"Harriett what is this? What am I doing here?" Burns croaked. Of course Harriett didn't know what to say. The old lady looked as if she too was about to cry.

"I'm- I'm sorry Jane I- I-" 

"Why do you have to keep it from me?" Harriett had to look away uncomfortably from her wide vicious eyes. It was horrendous to stare at Burns like that. She looked as if she was about to murder someone. "Frosco and Delilah, all these years Harriett-" She sighed. "They're real."

Burns' last words hung in the air. There was a very long pause before Harriett's sobs filled them. Perhaps the governess didn't expect to see Burns so ruined by the truth. "My father is Frosco right? And my mother- Rosalie, she's Delilah. And the Sovereign Cliff- it's all real." Tears now flickering down her cheeks. "All this time Harriett, all this time- the truth is in front of me. I- I just don't know- I just didn't realise." She gulped to stifle a loud sob. "But how Harriett? How come?"

"Sorry Jane, I'm sorry. Your father- he-" As Harriett tried to explain herself but Burns was already crying out loud. Harriett carefully stepped forward; aware about the wrath that was devouring her, the old governess made sure she wouldn't provoke her too much. As gently as Harriett could, she wrapped her arms around Burns and embraced her as if she was her daughter.  "I'm sorry Jane, I'm sorry."

Despite upon the pain and anguish, she was already too exhausted from everything. Burns' body was also failing her from lack of sleep all she could do was to embrace Harriett and bury her face on her shoulder to cry. "Sorry." Harriett kept saying while caressing her back. However, the solace Harriett was trying to give her seemed useless. It did not even relieve even just a tinge of pain. And for more than ten minutes they only stayed like that. Together, they wept.

For so many years Burns had no one but Harriett. The governess was not her biological mother but she was her mother. She guided Burns through her ups and downs. Since her father had always been away for business and art dealings, Harriett was there. During her piano recitals and her father was unable to attend, Harriett was there. When she first wondered where her mother was, Harriett was there to give her comfort no one could ever wish for. When she was feeling lonely Harriett would always be there beside her. And now- now that she finally knew most of the truth, Harriett was still there, embracing Burns with all her courage and love.