Torment

THE FALL

Everything was surreal. Suddenly, Burns stood in front of Rosalie, her biological mother. Alone, wrapped around the defeating silence that surrounded them. The clock kept ticking. Her heart beating. Pupils dilating. Even her breathings became even more audible. Burns gulped loudly but she only stared unmercifully towards her mother. Staring, she did not know what to feel. Everything was too fast. Like a destructive whirlwind this truth just suddenly swept across her way and brought nothing but immense melancholia, pain and more longing. "Jan- Burns, seryoso ako. Hindi ko ipagkakait na anak kita." Rosalie croaked and stepped closer to hold her face again but Burns refused to be touched this time. She backed away.

There was this force enveloping her entire being with unimaginable courage to go and embrace her like Michael did to his mother. To feel her presence, to give her chance but there was this stronger and and darker force that was overpowered her, driving her to stop and resent her. "You don't have to do that. I told you I know the risks." Burns finally found it hard to keep their gazes. She turned around instead to face the piano. Then there was another silence. Even Burns could still feel Rosalie's eyes sticking at the back of her neck she could no longer face her mother.

The two were trying to feel each other. Burns was careful not let her feelings out and so did Rosalie, aware and anxious not to provoke her too much. Not more than five minutes she felt her mother sighed and stammered her words out loud, "Gu-gusto sana kitang makasama bukas. Ipagluluto kita kahit na anong gusto mo, o kaya ilalabas kita sa beach or kahit saan." Burns slightly turned her head and let her pinkie finger pressed the higher C note on the piano once. Should she accept her offer? "Kung nag-aalala ka kay Ed, or Georgiana you don't have to worry. I know you'd be extremely uncomfortable I already talked to them and they agreed." However, she was not that convince. Georgiana would surely never like the idea of them being sisters. And Edgar, oh how he hated her. With these thoughts, she suddenly became curious of how Rosalie had found out the truth. Was her mother aware that her so loving husband tried to chuck her out of their lives? Burns was not sure whether Rosalie was still oblivious about the fact that Edgar was the reason why she was with Homer.

Slowly, Burns turned around. "I honestly don't care about them or to any other people who will talk about this. It's up to you." She obnoxiously uttered. "It's always been up to you." Her words were so bitter against her tongue. Rosalie too was taken aback. Burns never liked disrespecting people and she knew she had gone a bit far. To make up with her behaviour she immediately said, "But fine."

Rosalie was surprised. Perhaps her mother thought it would take her a lot of time and persuasion to encourage Burns. "Kung gusto mo para mas komportable tayo sa ibang lugar na lang tayo magkita."

"I'm going to Santa Clara tomorrow." Even Burns was a bit surprised. Why did she have to agree?

"That's great, okay lang sakin kung doon tayo magkita-"

"I'll send you the address later. I will be there with dad for some business reasons I'll just tell him that I will be meeting you there." Well, at least it would be less boring than spend her time with strangers, who would probably be just like the Realondas, trying hard to be close with her father. "Okay, salamat. Thank you." Rosalie hopefully smiled but Burns returned nothing but impassiveness. "I'll see you tomorrow Mrs Ramos." Her mother almost flinched the way she said her name with bitterness but astonishingly Rosalie kept herself upright and beautiful and still trying hard to smile. Her mother even gave Burns a goodnight kiss on her right cheek.

"See you Burns." Rosalie's lips landed on her cheek but she was not embracing Burns. "I just want you to know how happy I am that you are here. I know this is also hard for you but please give me a chance. I want to be with you, to care for you that despite upon all the things that had happened, I want you to know that you have a mother. Thank you." Her mother's whisper soothed her nerves at some point. Her eyes focused to the clock on the wall. Her face was still expressionlessly nothing. When Rosalie faced Burns she was not staring at her anymore. She kept her eyes focused on the hand of the clocks that kept ticking until Rosalie reluctantly released her and left without a word. From the moment Burns felt as Rosalie's arms wrapped around her with the warmth of her tender kindness and care and the moment she finally let go of her rigid body, she knew. She already knew she was cracking. And gently, very very slowly, she would soon shatter into pieces.