Torment

HATES & FURIES

The lunar synthesis shone brightly against the luminous water of the sea. The waves were calm. The wind gently ruffled the trees around the Sovereign, where the sound of the crickets was louder and more distinct. Everything was tranquil. Peaceful. Except for the sound of Rosalie's agonising sobs. In the water, still naked and burning with unimaginable heat of overflowing emotions, she wept with her forehead against the crook of Homer's neck. With both of her hands resting on his bared chest, tears relentlessly gushed down her face. Nearly choking, Rosalie gasped for air but neither of them moved from their position.

Homer on the other hand, carefully listened to her weeping. As if he were only dreaming, he slowly closed his eyes and did nothing but to embrace her tightly towards his chest. To sigh and inhale that intoxicating scent of hers, the smell of roses mixed with saltwater. Momentarily, he would caress her damp hair.

"Why?" Rosalie croaked still crying on his shoulder. Why? What have they done? Homer gulped but said nothing. Eyes nothing. Heart felt nothing. Nothing.

What was done was done. There was no way of getting things right again. They had done it. They did it again. And Rosalie, no matter how much she loved every single thing of what they had done could not be happy about it. Knowing that it only lasted for less than an hour. Knowing that she had betrayed Edgar again. Knowing that everything was already complicated enough to be altered, she was again, lost in his arms. Rather, burned alive in that fire of lust that perished their sinful flesh together. Those heated desires and longing had devoured her completely. Now, she was nothing more but ashes.

"Why?" She asked once again. When Rosalie finally looked up with fresh tears streaming down her face all she could do was to shake her head in distress. Carefully, Homer cupped her cheeks and gently wiped them with his thumb. Rosalie closed her eyes to feel his touch, to connect and have a sense of his entity one more time but after what they had done, now that they were back to reality she could no longer grasp his soul. Homer seemed so far away again. His heart was just as cold as his hands. "Bakit?" Again, she received no reply. By the end, Rosalie concluded that their actions were so unreasonable that it was never going to have answers at all. Whether, Homer wanted to say anything or nothing, it was too late. Both of them had already sinned. Nothing more could be done.

When Rosalie was calmer, she opened her eyes once more to stare at Homer who was still holding her cheeks. But then again when she searched his face, she found nothing. He was way beyond her understandings. Impassive. Hollowed. She didn't know what he was thinking. She didn't know what he was about to do. She didn't know why did he even respond to her kiss. It happened so fast that none of them had time to be saved from that enormous carnal force that still existed.

For what they had done, Rosalie only knew one thing. There was only one thing she was truly sure of and it was her undying love for Homer. Only for Homer and no one else. She loved him, she loved him so much that no matter how many years had passed, how many times had been wasted and killed, she still longed for him. She wept for him. She ached for him. She bled for him. She breathed for him.

Rosalie just kept on pretending and pretending and pretending until her life had been filled with nothing but pretentious lies. No matter how much she convinced herself that she was happy with Edgar, that she was never regretful of leaving Homer behind, that she had always been so glad to have so many material things, to have power and wealth and fame – they were all lies. Rosalie realised that she had become someone who was completely out of her own real shadow. Her worth had been derived from material fortune, perfection in physical beauty, and glory from others who had admired her and nothing more. She was nothing without him. Rosalie was none-existent without Homer. Over the years of his fake death, she had also been dead.