Torment

LIVE OR DIE

Suddenly, everything stopped. With Rosalie's breath touching the edges of Homer's lips he gulped deeply. For some reasons, he could hardly explain his heart immediately let out a loud immaculate thump against his ribs, pounding against his ears. His dilated eyes scanned through her glorious, almost hypnotising face. The book in his hand leaning on the other edge of the box did not matter except for his hand on her hips, except for her hand around his neck, except for her moist lips so close to his. It did not matter whether their limbs ached. It did not matter whether the woman Homer was holding was married or not. And Rosalie closed her eyes with a heavy sigh.

Homer swallowed hard. But he could only stare but although the deepest realm of his mind formed another great fantasy where he leaned forward. Slowly, together with his heart still beating fast and furious their lips touched. Rosalie's hand tightened around his nape. She would inhale as he exhale. His hand would squeeze her hip and pulled her closer. But still, Homer did nothing but to hold her. He was longing to consume her. To have her fully. To devour every piece of Rosalie's soul. Not because he still loved her. Homer knew there was no love left in him to share with the woman who had broken him more than twice. At the same time, he wanted her so badly and he didn't know why. He licked his bottom lip. Rosalie's eyes had come to open the moment the banging on the door started.

"Homer? Rosalie?" It was Juanico's voice. Rosalie gasped louder and was about to fall again. To resolve everything, Homer let go of the book and finally scooped his companion to be lifted up from the box they were sitting on and immediately stood up. He did not see her reaction that much for he focused more on the way he had let her down on the floor. Rosalie pulled the hem of her skirt down to her thighs and glanced at Homer awkwardly. "Homer? Rosalie?" It was Lovisa this time. The two of them quickly turned their heads toward the closed door. Homer walked first. His companion on the other hand was still taken aback, bewildered and unable to move from where she was standing at the moment.

"Yes, we're here." Homer calmly reply though the beating of his heart still refused to go along with his external nonchalance. "Sir Homer-" Salieri's voice echoed. "Can you push the knob downwards harder and I'll do the something for this knob?" There were rustlings on the other side of the doors. Perhaps Lovisa and Juanico moved backwards and gave Salieri some space to do his task. "In a count of one, two three-" The door was now unlocked. Homer exhaled but he didn't open the door. He gulped and slowly turned around to look at Rosalie who was paler than usual. "Let's go." She opened and closed her mouth, still too shocked to function properly. Without a word Homer offered his hand. "Sir Homer? Did it work? Do you want me to try again?" Rosalie was suddenly alarmed and quickly had taken her steps to accept Homer's hand. "It's fine now Salieri thank you." He pushed the door open with his fingers tightly entwined with Rosalie's.

***

"More wine?" Juanico offered. Homer sat with him by the window of the museum's roofed balcony inside and he kindly refused. The sun remained at its peak. The cumulous clouds dominated the bright blue sky. The beautiful landscape of Santa Clara was undisturbed and tranquil. As far as he could remember it was one of the most wonderful places he had ever been to and at the same time was barely altered. "How about a charcoal and a paper?" He smiled a little and accepted the pencil and the piece of paper. Without much contemplation Homer crossed his legs and placed the sketchbook on his lap before he began scribbling random organic lines.

"Rosalie-" His hand stopped but Homer did not even glance at his companion. His peripheral visions were enough to catch Rosalie having a conversation far away with Lovisa and to see Juanico staring at the windows. "She's not yours, is she?" Homer was not surprised but he remained speechless. "At the same time she's yours."

"She's the mother of my daughter." A pair of black butterflies caught his attention outside. Both Homer and Juanico noticed the two creatures flying up high towards the white Lilac tree. They watched the creature's wings spontaneously fluttered in striking luminous black before landing on one of the flowers. Black and white in contrast with nature was simply fascinating.