1. texts

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tater tot:
Ugh

jasper the ghost:
"Why hello, Jasper, how are you?"
Hello there. I'm fine, Evan, and you?

tater tot:
Sorry Jas

jasper the ghost:
It's cool. I just like yankin your chain, you know that

tater tot:
Nobody says "yankin your chain" anymore

jasper the ghost:
Well I do so shut your mouth and eat a dick
What's got you so "ugh"?

tater tot:
I'm fucking done
That's what

jasper the ghost:
Ah. Emma
What happened this time?

tater tot:
Another stupid fight and another goddamn break up
Except this time I think it's real

jasper the ghost:
You've said that before you know
Then you crawl right back to her and you guys get back together

tater tot:
This time was different

jasper the ghost:
How??

tater tot:
She gave me the ring

jasper the ghost:
...shit

tater tot:
The one way I know we may still have a chance after our stupid fights is the ring. She takes it with her because she doesn't want to let go
This time she took the ring off and threw it at me and told me to fuck myself
Now she's gone
She said she's coming back for her things some time this week when she's not busy with Scream Queens

jasper the ghost:
Maybe this is a sign

tater tot:
A sign of what? That I'm a massive failure

jasper the ghost:
A sign that it's time to forget that bitch
She's caused you nothing but trouble since that night in Montreal

tater tot:
You always bring that up

jasper the ghost:
Evan she fucking hit you!!

tater tot:
I hit her too!

jasper the ghost:
AFTER SHE HIT YOU! IT WAS SELF DEFENSE EVAN!!
You didn't leave any bruises on her
You didn't go to jail for battery
She didn't suffer mentally and emotionally because of it

tater tot:
I wasn't aware you were a doctor now

jasper the ghost:
Evan, do you know how many times I've received phone calls from you while you were crying because of her?
Especially that night
You called me like 5 times that night, remember?
Before the fight when you were pissed at her, after the yelling began to tell me you were trying to get out of Canada and back to St. Louis, after she left first to say you thought it was over, when she threw the first few punches and authorities were contacted and while you were trying to get her out of jail

tater tot:
That doesn't mean I'm emotionally and mentally ruined

jasper the ghost:
You blamed yourself for that night, Evan
You have battered boyfriend syndrome or whatever it's called

tater tot:
I don't know why I came to you. You know NOTHING about love

jasper the ghost:
Oh you think so?

tater tot:
Well maybe that Kendall guy

jasper the ghost:
Jesus Christ Evan, how many times do I have to tell you it's Kendrick, not Kendall?
He's my best friend. Basically my brother

tater tot:
Funny. I thought I was your best friend

jasper the ghost:
You were
Until Emma told you to cut me out of your life
And you basically did

tater tot:
You know that's not true Jasper

jasper the ghost:
It is
Whatever nvm Evan. Go cry over the bitch who doesn't deserve you
I'm done
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