Side to Side - Christian Yelich

Chapter 5

APRIL 28TH, 2017

We got in late last night and this traveling has got me exhausted and the pregnancy isn't helping. Christian has basically moved his stuff out of G's house and into mine to get ready for parenthood.

But I just have a feeling something isn't right, I don't know what it is but I'm going to the doctors today to finally figure things out.

I got up around 9 and got into the shower and then got ready. We left the house around 10:15 for the appointment at 10:40.

I got there and then filled out some paperwork and then got called back into the room and Christian followed us. I sat down on the table and he sat down in the chair and the nurse did the regular stuff and then told us to wait for the doctor.

Christian thought he was gonna see the baby and this was going to be a happy visit but I knew something was wrong and I knew that it wasn't going to be happy. The doctor finally came in and asked me questions.

"Well I've been having some bleeding like a normal period, I haven't been to see a doctor because I'm a medical trainer for the Miami Marlins and I have been out of town." I said and he nodded and put the cold gel on my stomach and started the ultrasound.

I didn't see a baby or hear a heartbeat and that's when I knew all the bleeding had to have been a miscarriage. I sighed and closed my eyes. "You knew what was going on didn't you?" I nodded and the doctor sighed. "You just didn't want to believe it?" He said and I started to cry.

Christian took my hands in his and held me as close as he could. "I'm so sorry for the loss you two." He said before he exited. I swear Christian was crying too. "This is going to be a hard day and I knew all the traveling was going to do something to the baby." I said wiping my tears and getting up.

"Hey, offseason, we'll try again okay? But for now, let's enjoy our time together and get to know each other before jumping into another pregnancy okay?" He said and I nodded and he kissed my head and with that we left for the park.

I could already hear the guys now, all of them asking how the appointment went and Christian was going to have to tell them bad news.

He went straight to the clubhouse and I went straight to my office not saying a word to one another and I knew this had hurt him and he was going to push me off big time.

I heard a knock on my door and I yelled come in and then I saw G with a sad smile on his face. "I'm sorry love." He said coming over and giving me a hug. "It's okay G. I knew it was bound to come with all the traveling that I was going to do, I'm glad it happened sooner rather than later before he got too attached you know?"

He nodded. "He's really upset and I think he should stay with me tonight." I nodded. "If that's what he wants to do and I know he's going to push me away from him and that's okay. We all have different ways of grieving, I would just rather stay busy to have my mind off of it." He nodded and kissed my forehead.

Throughout batting practice, the boys came in and gave me hugs and talked to me making sure that I was okay. I never once saw Christian in here and that honestly doesn't surprise me.

It was game time and I went to the dugout and sat with the other trainers and watched the game. Yelich went 2-5 with two singles and a couple of groundouts and one strikeout.

I went back to my office and grabbed all my stuff and then I heard my door open and then close. I turned around and saw Christian and he was looking everywhere but me.

"I'm staying back at G's tonight." He said coldly with no emotion. "That's fine." I said looking at him. He was a wreck and it made me hurt. "I'm probably gonna move back there too." Now that made my heart break and I was trying not to cry.

I sighed. "Whatever you want Christian. Come get your shit tonight then." I said very harshly and pushed past him and ran out of the park and into my car and drove off home. I went up to my room and changed and climbed into bed.

I turned on the TV and everything just hit me at once and I started to bawl. I heard the door open and I assume it was Christian getting his stuff but I didn't care if he heard me cry, he did this to me. He made me fall fast and then used me for sex.

I grabbed my phone once he had left and called Dee. I asked him to come over and help me and he was there in no time and once he saw me, he crawled into bed and just held me while I cried.

"Dee what do I do? Are we over? Are we together? I don't know what to think." I said wiping my tears. "Text him." He said and I grabbed my phone.

To: Babes❤️😍
So what are we? Are we done? Are we together? I need to know so I can either keep crying or just... idk what I would do.

From: Babes❤️😍
I need time. This hurt me. You hurt me.

To: Babes❤️😍
YOURE HURT?!?! You weren't the one carrying the baby. You weren't the one to go through the miscarriage and feel the baby leaving you. You know what? I'm done until you realize that I didn't hurt you and that I'm very hurt just as much as you are if not more.

From: Babes❤️😍
I'm sorry.. 

I threw my phone on the bed and just cried in Dee's arms and then like a half hour later I heard the door open and I looked up and saw Christian. Puffy red eyes and all. 

Dee kissed my forehead and left, dammit Dee. I don't want to be alone with him. He came and sat down on the bed with me and I wouldn't look at him. 

"Summer, I'm sorry. I wanted that baby so much. I was so proud of myself that I had finally gotten a girl that I could spend the rest of my life with and make me happy and bring me out of my manwhore phase." He said and he was crying by that point. 

"Summer please, look at me." I turned to look at him. "I love you. I have never loved anyone as much as I have you. It may only be a short amount of time, but I do. I really do love you." He said while grabbing my hands. 

That's when I lost it. I went straight into his arms and cried and he just held me close and kept saying that he was sorry over and over again. 

Eventually, we both cried ourselves to sleep. 

What a freaking day..