Fake Smiles (Jaele)

Too Much To Handle

Riele's POV
I can't believe I'm doing this... It's been so long....

I stare at myself in the mirror. No bruises, no marks. Just scars. Physical and emotional. I'm trying so hard to leave them in the past but they're words still haunt me.

'Not needed'

'Not wanted'

'I hope you die'

It's been weird not feeling fear every second of every day but it's a good weird. It's nice to be relaxed. It's nice knowing that people care about me. For so long I doubted myself. I never thought about myself nicely and I never accepted compliments. Whenever someone complimented me I just thought they were lying. Not once did I think about them telling the truth. In my reflection I didn't see myself. I saw this heart broken girl terrified to even open her mouth. I was so afraid of everything. I was afraid of trusting people. I was so scared by the world. There was a time when I was scared of my feelings for Jace.

Jace: Hey Rie. Are you ready?

Jace asked coming into my room.

Riele: Um....

I hesitated a little looking at the mirror.

Am I ready?

Riele: I think so

Jace: Are you sure?

Riele: Honestly? No

I confessed. I might as well tell him now. He would've gotten the truth out of me anyway.

Jace: I know this is hard. I know what happened and facing them after what they did... I know this day will be tough. I just want you to know that I'm here. If you ever feel like it's just too much then tell me.

I smiled gently and turned around to face

Riele: I love you so much

Jace: I love you too now come on, we're gonna be late

Riele: I can live with that

Jace: Riele

Riele: Fine

I said grabbing his hand. The drive was silent. It wasn't an awkward or weird silence but at the same time it wasn't a peaceful or calming silence. It was just silence.

Jace: So what do you think will happen today?

Riele: I'm not sure. I'm just wondering why they want to see me NOW

Jace: What do you mean?

I opened my mouth to make a Justin Bieber joke but he read my mind.

Jace: Don't say it

Riele: You didn't even know what I was gonna-

Jace: You were gonna make a Justin Bieber joke

Riele: Whaaaaaaaat?

He gave me a look.

Riele: Ok fine I was

Jace: knew it

Riele: I mean... This didn't happen recently. It was like... I don't know, 6 months ago maybe? The point is that they've had a lot of time without me. Why would they randomly want me now?

I said bringing it back to what we were originally talking about.

Jace: I'm not sure. But I guess we're about to find out

He said parking the car. Oh god.

We walked in and I felt a chill run down my spine. A wave of anxiety washed over me as all the memories came flooding back. Jace could tell I was nervous so he reassuringly squeezed my hand to let me it was ok. I went to the lady at desk.