Chapter 3
When we pulled away, I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back and said, “Now, we’re even.”
I chuckled and leaned in for another kiss, but Jennifer leaned away and frowned. “What are you doing?” she asked through a laugh.
“W-Well, I was going to kiss you, but...” I started, confused.
“Look, Josh, I’m not ready for another relationship; Nicholas and I JUST broke up!”
“Well, Jen, you’re kind of sending me mixed messages,” I said. “I mean, you just kissed me and now you’re saying you don’t want to be with me?”
“I don’t know if I want to be with you,” Jen said.
“Then why did you kiss me if you didn’t know?” I stood up from the couch, getting annoyed at her.
“Josh, you know how I feel about you,” Jen stood up too, and reached for my hand but I stepped back, moving it out of her path.
I frowned and narrowed my eyes, looking for something to say. “No, actually I don’t...do you even know how you feel about me?
Jen was silent. “...We keep fighting lately.”
“Why does it matter that we’re fighting if we’re not in a relationship?” I asked and Jen looked away. I could tell she was upset but I was too. “I don’t know how you feel about me, but I know you know how I feel about you.”
“...What?” Jen hid smile. “I didn’t quite get that.”
I chuckled. “You know I want to be with you, right?”
Jen nodded. “Of course I know that. Everyone knows that, it’s so obvious.”
“Well, sorry, I’m not good at hiding my love,” I said, smiling at her.
“Love?” Jen frowned, still a slight smile on her face.
“I-I gotta go, I’ll see you at work later,” I grabbed my coat and walked out the door. But before I closed the door I looked back and saw Jen smiling to herself and blushing.
-Later that day-
-Jennifer-
As I walked into work, I tried to avoid eye contact with everyone I passed. Apparently, word had gotten out about me and Josh’s sudden kiss and my instant runaway. But the best thing was that no one knew anything about this morning.
Ah, this morning. I wish I could go back in time to when Josh’s lips were on mine and we were sitting close together on the couch.
“Jen?” I hear Jena’s voice behind me as I’m just about to enter my trailer. I slowly turn around.
“Hi,” I smile slightly. “How are you?”
Things are tense, but I don’t know why. It’s not like I kissed HER. “Fine, thanks,” replies Jena, avo-iding eye contact. “But the question is really, how are YOU? I mean, I’m sure things are awkward.”
I shake my head no. “Why would they be?”
Jena frowns and looks at me as if I’m stupid. “Um...have you been living under a rock or were just completely drunk last night!? You and Josh kissed and you ran away before anything else could happen! This means something, obviously.”
I looked at her stubbornly. “What if it doesn’t?”
Jena took a step away from me, sensing that I was annoyed. “He wouldn’t have kissed you if he didn’t have feelings for you,” Jena said. She crossed her arms and looked to her feet sadly.
I sighed, sick of it, and walked inside my trailer.
“Jen!” called Jena from outside.
I opened the door a crack and glared at her. “You’re not always right, you know,” I said.
After a few minutes, I heard Jena mutter something that sounded like ‘I know I’m not always right, but neither are you...I’m sorry’, and then she left.
I felt terrible. I’d never had a fight with Jena and she didn’t deserve what I did and said to her. I was just in a bad mood. I needed to talk to Josh.
-Sam-
“I can’t believe she did that!” I said to Jena as she held back tears. I stroked her back. “It’ll be okay, she’ll come around.”
Jena smiled slightly. “Thanks, Sam, you’re awesome,” she said gratefully. She suddenly frowned dee-ply and looked over my shoulder. “Wait...is that...?”
I turned around and saw Josh knock on Jennifer’s trailer door, then look around to see if anyone was watching. Jena and I quickly ducked behind a wall just as he turned our way.
“That was close,” I whispered.
After a few more moments, Jennifer finally opened the door and let Josh in and closed the door after him.
“Oh my gosh!” Jena exclaimed. I could almost hear a tone of envy in her voice, but I ignored it. “Did that just happen?”
“Let’s go listen!” I grabbed Jena’s wrist and dragged her out from behind the door. Jena suddenly stopped, pulling me back.
“No! We can’t just go listen! They’re having a private conversation,” she said.
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, don’t you wanna know what they’re talking about? And even if it’s none of our business, it can’t hurt to listen!”
Jena sighed and nodded.
We rushed over to Jen’s trailer and kneeled down outside her open window on the left side. We tucked our legs under us and pressed our backs to the trailer wall so that it was impossible to see us if you looked out the window because it had a small ledge.
“So, what happened this morning, Josh....I,” Jen said.
‘What happened this morning?’ Jena mouthed to me.
I widened my eyes and shrugged. Then put a finger to my lips, listening for more.
Josh spoke next. “Jen, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just confused about what we are,” he said. “I told you how I feel about you and you don’t feel the same way, I get it.”
I expected Jen to say that she did feel about him in the same way, but there was only silence. “Josh, I have...something for you.”
“What is it?” Josh asked. “Did you get me a present or something?”
Jennifer laughed quietly. “No, I don’t mean I have something to give to you, I mean I have something FOR you. As in I don’t have feelings for you, but you don’t mean nothing to me either.”
“Well, maybe it’s just a friendship thing you’re thinking about, maybe we’re over exaggerating this,” said Josh in a sad tone.
“No, I like you more than a friend, that much I know,” Jen said. Jena and I looked at each other with wide eyes, both confused and shocked. “It’s just that...”
“You and Nicholas only broke up this morning and you’re not ready for another relationship, I know,” Josh finished for her. “You already told me that and crushed my dreams once this morning.” He talked fast and in a low tone as if he wanted to get it over with and have Jen not really under-stand every word of it. “I should go.”
“I’m sorry, Josh,” Jen said. Jena and I heard the door opened and quickly scrambled. We ran across the lot to where we were talking before just as Josh walked out. He didn’t say anything back to Jen as he walked away, but she walked down her trailer steps and called out to him. From where we were standing, you could see tears shining in her eyes as the sun hit her face.
Jen looked towards Jena and I and covered her mouth, stopping her from calling out to Josh an-ymore. Jena and I looked away and started walking back inside. I heard Jen slam her trailer door and though I didn’t want to admit it, I could’ve sworn I heard her sobbing loudly.
I couldn’t help but feel ashamed.
