The Fifth Arrow: Loving Him Goodbye || A Ziam Fanfiction

Chapter 10

Los Angeles, CA. 09/30/16. 1:12 P.M

I literally spent the whole day yesterday watching and waiting for Zayn to do or say something about Niall's song. I felt like some kind of fangirl or something. You know. Those one's that sit and stare at their computer all day and wait for Zayn to do something.

He didn't.

And I understand why he didn't. Except the rest of the guys do not. And to top it all off, he posted a selfie on Instagram. They literally think that he is trying to do everything he can to take attention away from us. I know for a fact that Zayn listened to that song, downloaded it, and felt as proud as the rest of us. I just can't stand listening to them trash him all the time. Not just the guys. Some of our fans too.

So now I am just sitting here. Alone. In my hotel. Waiting for him to text or call or show up at my door. He really needs to know that he isn't helping himself at all. He wants to make everything up to Louis and Harry and Niall, but then he does stuff like this.

I have This Town playing on repeat on my stereo with a pen and paper, hoping Niall can give me some inspiration for a song, but nothing comes to me. As if I didn't need to feel more pathetic.

Giving up, I toss my notepad on the table beside the couch and get up to turn the music off. I grab the TV remote and turn Netflix on, looking for a movie. The first one I see that catches my eye is Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List.

Ah. A gay romance movie. Perfect. I turn the lights down a bit, and get comfortable on the couch. Eventually, I close my eyes, fall asleep, and start dreaming.

*******

Bradford, 2012.

~| flashback/dream|~

I sit on the couch in the living room of Zayn's house. We took a short break from the Take Me Home tour, and I wanted to spend some time here. I know I should be home with my family..... I just.... I don't know how much more time I have with Zayn. He's... leaving the band. And I can't get that out of my mind. And as much as I want to see my family.... Something about being with Zayn in the house that he grew up in felt special.

I hear Zayn walk in the room, and I turn. He is carrying a bowl of popcorn. I reach over and grab the remote off the coffee table in front of me, and he comes to sit down beside me.

"So what do you want to watch?" He asks me, setting the popcorn down.

"You choose." I smile at him.

"Ok..." He turns the TV on, and walks over to the cabinet beside it. He grabs a DVD case. "How does Batman Begins sound?"

"Good." I smile as he puts it in the DVD player and sits back down beside me. The movie starts playing, and I turn to look at him. "I've had a good time... here. With you," I say, awkwardly.

"Same. There's just... One thing I wanted to do before we left...." He says nervously.

"Whats that?" I say, sliding closer to him.

"Nevermind." He says, looking away.

"Zayn. Once we get back on the tour bus I'm sure we won't have any time to come back to it. So why don't you tell me now?" I say, making a pouty face.

He laughs, but it quickly fades. It is replaced by an intensity I haven't seen on him before. He moves closer to me, and I feel myself leaning into him. Like there is some kind of magnet between us. When it gets too much to handle, I press my lips against his, closing the space between us. He wraps his hands around the back of my neck and kisses me back.

He lies down on the couch, and I am over top of him. He breaks the kiss, and I catch my breath.

"Liam," he says. "I think I am in love with you." As he says it, he pulls me back onto him before I have a chance to say it back. The movie keeps playing but I don't hear it. All I hear is the sound of my heart beating. And all I feel is the warmth of the boy beneath me.

At that moment, I knew that when Zayn left the band it would be the end of me. And that's when I began loving him goodbye.

*********

Los Angeles.

Slowly, I begin to wake up. But I don't want to. I just want to fall back asleep, and travel right back to that moment. Except now I am awake.

I sigh, and look at the TV. I've missed half the movie. Some girl is in an apartment lobby yelling at some extremely good looking guy. I grab the remote and click it off. I turn the lights on, and walk back to the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of wine, and as I drink it, I think back to my dream. It's almost like I can still feel Zayn's lips on mine. I turn my stereo back on, and Niall's song starts playing again.

Waking up to kiss you and no body's there.

Waking up to kiss him, and nobody's there.