Exactly You Like Me (Chapter 6)

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"Come on seriously? That's no way to treat your boyfriend!" Brendon hits my arm playfully; I think he's a little upset under the playfulness. "I mean making out kinda makes me uncomfortable with the thought of touching someone like that it's not my cup of tea." Truthfully is never actually made out with anyone I never even had a boy friend and that kiss before Mike's party was my first so yea apparently I like to bluff. "You’re doing that again, you're lying. Tell me why you're really not a fan of making out." I look at him and frown; if I said it he'd think I was weird. "Well I'm scared of...someone....being....that close.....and attracted to me. It really freaks me out." He smiles, "That's a stupid fear. Someone out there loves you to be attracted like that, that person is me." He pulls me closer to him, music playing in the background. "Look I promise I won't make you feel uncomfortable and when the time comes I'll be gentle. I won't hurt you promise." I feel myself freaking out; he was very close and very seductive. He kisses my jaw, I shiver. No I shouldn't be doing this. I sit up and turn my face away. I catch my breath and try to think. Why does it freak me out so much? What's so scary about someone liking me? I feel to arms slink around my waist. I can't think anymore, it’s blank. He kisses my neck softly, I bite my lip. I pull out of his arms. "Look Brendon I'm just gonna go." I open the door and walk out. I get in my car and drive home, I don't know what happened. I get home and all I feel is tired. I fall asleep before I could even think. 
*Later the next day* 
"I like it. It's like ice cream." Brendon decided to make up for last night with frozen yogurt and a bow tie. "I don't understand why you like bow ties so much, but whatever makes you happy." His finger interlaced with mine, I feel so lucky, for him to even put up with me is a miracle. When we finish we walk out to his car and drive to his house. We walk up to his room and chill. "So I kinda wanna go out tonight, wanna go with me?" I think about this for a minute, is this a real formal date offer? "Sure let’s get wasted and dance till we pass out." He smiles and sits next to me, I lay my head on his shoulder. We sit like this for what feels like a while, I don't want to leave. "Well you've gotta get ready right? Come on I'll take you home." He grabs my hands and pulls me off the bed, there's no space between us. I feel his breath on my lips; I resist my urge to kiss them. He tilts my head up, places one hand on my waist, and plants a soft kiss on my lips. I feel stunned, I don't want to move. He kisses my lips again then backs up. I take one step forward; I want to be close to him. He grabs my hand and walks me out of his house. "That's a really bad place to do that, how about your house?" I just shook my head yes, anything to feel something like that again. I hop into the passenger seat and wait patiently. My dad was on a business trip so I'd been alone a while. I go to unlock my house, Brendon not far behind. When we finally get inside I grab his hand and take him up to my room. I guess going out is long out of his mind. As soon as we reach my room he kisses me. I couldn't really react; he's already lining my jaw with them. His hands wrapped around my waist. I try to resist whatever this is but I don't know how. "Stop. Just stop." He looks at me and let’s go, his face is confused. "I don't know what this is! One minute you’re all up on me kissing and touching me and as soon as it actually gets make outish you push me away, why?" I didn't know what to say to him, I couldn't explain what I was so scared of, I mean I'd been avoiding any kind of relationship like that all my life. I could never explain the way he makes me feel, but I’m scared he's just gonna find out that I'm not that cool and leave. We stand in silence, all those words locked like a vault in my soul. I knew what I was doing, I was distancing myself from him, and I didn't want to do that. "So you have to be drunk as hell for me to even-" I cut him off, his lips looked too good tonight. "All I wanna do is give you a perfect girlfriend; I can't do that so I'm just gonna try my best." I walk up to him, slink my arms around his neck, and go for the kill. He was also very ready for this moment in our existence. I feel his hands grab my hips and pull me closer, I don't react. Why aren't I reacting, do I want this somewhere deep down in my heart? I decide to turn off my brain for a moment, just so I can truly enjoy this moment. I let him touch my butt, I feel so wrong about this, but it feels so right. I kiss him, it's a normal interaction, he kisses my neck, I shudder through my whole body. That neck kiss was almost unworldly; I didn't know what to think. My mind goes blank, it's all instinct now. I slowly back up to sit down, lips still connected. He climbs over me, forcing me to lay down. I begin to think when I feel his kisses trailing down my neck, I sit up. "Alex?" I look him in the face and shake my head, I need to leave. I get up and run, I jump in my car and drive for what feels like hours. I can't let my emotions get the best of me, I pull over. I cry anyway, I'm such a screw up. I hate any situation; I just want to be left alone. I don't want any relationships; I guess that's what's happening to me. I wipe my eyes and turn on my iPod. I'm not really listening; my brain is too caught in thought. I sit in silence and watch the moon in the sky, I fall asleep. *Bang bang.* "Wake up! Oh please please please wake up!" I hear frantic banging on my window, I awake with a start. I stare at the face, it's two. Mike and Brendon put aside their differences for one night to find me; I don't even understand why I'm so special. I get up and roll the window down, the door opens with a start. I groggily step out to be attacked with hugs. "Don't ever do that again." "I hate when you do that. You promised." I hear both of their voices but I really don't want to hear either. I see they took Brendon's car. I sit down on the ground and wait for them to stop. They both stop with a start, they think I'm falling. Mike grabs me and sets my in the seat. "I'm hungry." They both flash death stares at me; I don't know what I did. "You literally had us up for a whole night worried sick about you and all you can say is I'm hungry?" Mike doesn't say anything; he knows why I run away anyway. He pulls Brendon to the side, I don't hear the exchange. I look around; I sure did pick a pretty place to upset people, its so forestry. Mike pushes me to the passenger seat and turns on the ignition. "Honestly do you have to do this every time? What upset you this time? I guess he was taking me to get food. "I'm hungry! Feed me." I was hungry; I'm going to listen to him yell at me. "You do this every time! Why do you bottle everything up?" I could hear him getting mad, I didn't care. "I did it because I'm hungry." I know I'm avoiding the question, I never answer the question. He shakes his head and drives. He hates me like this. I only did this once; when my parents divorced, it completely upset Mike and my dad. (My mom could care less she was too busy trying to find a new man) I didn't talk to anyone about what I was feeling, I had no desire to. I promised to never do that again, but I'm not very trustworthy. I look around and see the city again, that's not very comforting. I guess Mike is taking me to his house; yay mama Fuentes! I look out the window and look at all the happy people, go you for being happy. We pull up into the Fuentes residents, he turns off the car. I hear Brendon get in the backseat; this wasn't going to be pretty. I laugh and look out the window. It's a pretty blue day. "Okay so what happened?" I heard Mike say it but I had no answer. Nothing happened, nothing at all. It's just me, I don't deserve anyone, I'm tired of Brendon trying to make me realize something I’m not. "Nothing happened. I just came to my senses." I hear Mike sigh and Brendon slip his hand in mine. I squeeze it, I really like him but I don't deserve him. "What do you mean darling?" Brendon squeezes my hand, he's worried. "I mean exactly that. I came to my senses and I know that I don't deserve any of you." Mike is frustrated; he's dealt with this forever. I figured Brendon would act the same way. I mean I can't see any reason why he wouldn't act the same way. I feel his hand slip out of mine and his door open. I guess it upset him. I feel myself being taken out of the car. I go sit on the hood of Brendon's car, he looks sad for some reason. He walks up to me and places his hands on my face. He kisses me with such gentleness, I kiss back; I don't deserve this. I pull away, this isn't right. "Look at me. I'm not going anywhere. I know you're going through something right now but I don't know what. Why are you being this way?" He holds my waist, I don't move his hands. I shrug, I don't want to answer. He looks at me I can tell he's frustrated. "What is really wrong with you? What happened?" I look for an escape route, I see one. I wiggle out of his arms and I run into the street, it goes black. 

_____________________________________________________________________________Sorry for such the extreme wait for this chapter. I had zero ideas and this one sucks but I hate writing fillers and I'm sorry. Anyway break is coming up and I’m going to give you all a nice little treat for Christmas. ~ Your uncreative author

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