Chapter 20 : I have to Choose.

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"Pity those who don't feel anything at all."
A Court of Thorns and Roses, by Sarah J. Maas.

Adela pretty much had no idea what to do with herself.

She was standing in the throne room, in the silence that was turning too uncomfortable for her to stand. She didn't know what to do with her hands, how to stand, where to look.

There were two pairs of eyes, looking at her filled with concern, boring into her frame. Adela hadn't met those gazes since she'd come into the room, that was the last ten minutes.

"Your Majesty." Adela said, and then hastily cleared her throat.

She hadn't heard her own voice in a week, and it just came out as if a dead person was speaking.

"Did you summon me?" She asked quietly, still looking pretty much anywhere but at her parents who were seated in front of her.

She heard her father let out a long sigh, and then he carefully said, "We haven't seen you in a week, Princess Adela."

When she was quiet, he continued, "You keep yourself inside your room. You never come out. You hardly eat, and now look at yourself." The King then sighed again, "I'm worried about you, my dear daughter.

No one would understand. No one ever would, what she was going through. How she herself had no control over what was happening to her. Samantha was something that was constantly on her mind.

She came into her dreams all the time, just as Adela had assumed. But she didn't come alone.

Adela often woke up sweating and panting, the last image was always the image of Sebastian looking at her for the last time.

She was sure her screams were audible all over the Palace. Every servant's eyes told her that in the morning.

She had passed the point where she could care less. She didn't care at all, what anyone else thought.

Everything was dead. Just like the winter outside.

"I'm okay, Father." She said, after a minute of silence. Today, she had been forced to come out. They said there was something important they needed to discuss with her.

Something that she was too terrified to hear.

"I will not pull this out longer than necessary." The King said in his calm tone, "We had been waiting for you to recover from whatever it was that had seized you so bad." Her father's voice was gentle, soft, "We do care about you, and your well being. Which is why we have waited till now.

"We would like to proceed with the matter if you feel okay."

It was not a question. But an order. An order, which Adela had no say in.

And even though her mind was going wild with the hundreds of assumptions it was making, even though her mind was going crazy thinking maybe, at last everything was over, even though her mind was slowly letting go of every single sliver of hope she'd ever had in her miserable times, she nodded.

The King thought he was being very merciful, she could tell, by granting her the sixteen seconds of silence before he spoke.

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