I'm unexpected

9~ Its Perfection

I didn't have to tell anyone about my decision, Yousaf did it for me. Omar was pissed as hell and I could tell he was trying his best not to ruin his damn reputation and tell the truth. After everyone had left I walked back upstairs to my room and locked the door. I performed wu'du and prayed Isha', I made dua for my baby and a safe pregnancy, for justice, and for any sign that what I was doing was the right choice.

After praying I laid flat on my stomach on the bed. Questions and thoughts surrounded my mind as I lay there. Was I even ready to be a mother? Would I be a good one? Would I be able to protect my baby when I couldn't even protect myself? And then Yousaf ran through my mind.

I opened my bed side drawer and picked through it before I finally found what I was looking for. A picture taken say when I was about 10 years old. It was of Yousaf and I, a selfie to be exact of the day we found our secret place also known as "Inya" which were the first two letters of our names. I remember that place very well. I haven't been there in a long time, there were just too many memories. I never did find my necklace either. I still laugh at the memory when I forced Yousaf to wear the girly accessory I had bought for five dollars at a thrift store.

I honestly don't know what happened to him over the years. I had left for New York disappointed that he didn't bother to call me or even visit me when I was the one who had been waiting at our place for the whole evening. I spent my high school years there with Musa and his family when we decided to move back to Los Angeles since the family business was here.

When I first came here, Yousaf was engaged to a girl he went to high school with named Almas, but she was jumped by a group of guys we still havent figured out who and died a year after their engagement and the day before they were going to get married. He was totally against the proposal but his family insisted it would be good for him since Almas was a good practicing Muslim. Her death was also the first time I talked to him in four years. At her funeral, I had went up to him to pay my respects. Boy was I wrong to even get close to him. He flipped me off in a second and didn't even acknowledge my presence.

Fast forward to another four years later, now I don't understand his moto. He hates me and I don't know why when he was the one that never picked up my calls when I needed him the most. In a way I'm glad he didn't stay in contact. If he did I would have developed strong feelings for him which was very wrong between us, well until now that is. Even now though, I have to keep my feelings to myself because he is doing this as a favor and he made it very clear he will have no thoughts on ending his relationship with his lady friend, astagirullah. Honestly he isn't the person I grew up with. He was very loving and kind, he had also finished memorizing the Quran just before my parents had died. He would respect anyone and everyone no matter there color race gender or role. Now when you go see him in the office, he's yelling orders and firing people for stupid reasons. If you add too much sugar in his coffee, your fired. If you come back from a lunch break a minute late, your fired.

After I came back, it was like I didn't know this Yousaf. He changed a lot and even Huma knows that. I don't know why she would think to set us up.

With all these thoughts swirling in my mind I fell asleep knowing if every things went downhill, I had to be strong for someone now, my baby.

A week later

It was decided, I would be a married women in a month. I wasn't showing yet which was totally normal since you should be showing 12-16 weeks after. Omar was outraged and demanded that he wanted to marry me that he had a stable job and everything. Our family was a little sour with each other since he wouldn't let it go.

My phone started buzzing in the middle of the class, whispering a little apology I turned it off. After class I checked who it was and saw an unknown number. I called It back and someone answered,