Take Me Home • h. styles ✔

Interlude II

Nialler,

     Time flies so fast, doesn’t it? Who would’ve thought that I’m still living in this world full of sadness and fear? Do you know who made it all possible? It was you Ni. If you’re asking why, let me tell you.

 

     Louis gave me this notebook just today, one week after we were welcomed by the Fosters, and I realized that you wrote a letter for me. Reading your letter made me cry again and I suck at making promises to myself not to cry. I don’t know. It’s just too difficult not to cry during these times because one moment I’m crying tears of sadness, and the next thing I know, I would be crying tears of happiness. Do you know how much I hated myself when I saw you again? I wanted to scream, and shake you like crazy until you wake up, but you didn’t. I was so mad that I had tattoos because I wasn’t allowed to give my blood to you. How I wish that I didn’t have these stupid tattoos, knowing that having them might be the reason of losing you. When Mike told us that you were at the brink of leaving us, I only thought of nothing but you. You got me and Lou all worried. I was so desperate and I think that God had gotten tired of me asking for you to wake up again. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you again. Because if that happened, I don’t know what my mind would tell me to do. Lou said that he’d rather be taken by those monsters out there than to see you go. I would’ve probably done the same thing. But look at you now. You’re all better and I’m very thankful that you’re back.

 

     I’d like to take this chance to say that you’ve made it possible why I’m still living. You were my savior. You saved me from those monsters, and if I hadn’t seen you, I would’ve been one of them now. I would’ve had been turned into this insane guy who couldn’t bear that he was really the last man on Earth. You brought me back to life Ni. Your silly sing-along’s in the morning, your delicious meals that you prepare for me every morning, your warm hugs and random kisses on my cheeks, those were the things that made me alive again. You were my source of strength and courage during those times when I was weak and starting to lose belief of myself. Thank you for everything.

 

     And now, we’re not alone anymore. We have Hannah and Mike, and most importantly, Lou-Bear is here. We’re so close to become One Direction again. I’m so excited and full of hope too, that Liam and Zayn are just around here somewhere, waiting for the three of us to be reunited. I can’t wait for that moment, and I want to sing again with the five of us being complete again.

 

     And Niall, don’t say that you’re not enough for me, because it’s not true. You are one of my best friends, and you’re one of the people who complete me for who I am. We will stay together until the end, and thank you for being with me. If I’ll be making it back at home, I can’t thank you enough for making it possible.

 

     Well, I guess that this notebook is not just mine anymore. It’s ours Ni. Yours, mine and Louis’. We will write our adventures here, and we will write letters to each other if we don’t have the guts to say it out loud to one another. This will be our official diary, apart from our video diaries which will make in the future. We might as well tell our secrets here as well, which I will start by saying that…I’m…starting to have these feelings for Hannah. Hopefully, Louis won’t read this, but I do. Ever since that day when she saved you, and her sweet gestures, and her beautiful blue eyes, I suddenly had a soft spot for her that I couldn’t explain. I changed my mind, don’t make Louis read and write here in this notebook yet, until I find the way to deal with these emotions I have for her. Don’t tell Louis, okay? I don’t want my best friend to get hurt, because he loves her too. You know how much I love Lou too. I know that what I’m feeling is wrong, and I’m trying my best to hide it for Louis. I want him to be happy, and I’ll do anything just to keep our friendship even if it means I’m sacrificing my sake. Although it’s getting more and more difficult as each day goes by. I hope I can still keep it until my feelings fade away.

 

     To end this, thanks for everything bud. Thank you for reading this letter, and keeping my secret, and I promise that I’ll always be here for you. The three of us will carry on, and I can’t wait to be back home. Love you Ni. xx

 

Hazza xx