Total Drama Campus Life

Episode 4: It's Purely Scientific, My Dear Courtney

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Campus Life; the students faced off in a long line of insane activities that were carried out in my mechanical arena. Mike wasn't all that fond of Zoey's new look a la Jo and Bridgette wasn't all that pleased with Tanner kissing BeBe. So displeased in fact that she even told Heather! In the end, Tyler was booted from the show and Heather spilled the beans to poor, little Collin. Today, the students will be brewing up the most drama this show has ever seen! What will Collin's reaction be? What will become of his and BeBe's relationship? Find out now on Total Drama Campus Life!

Zoey: Hey, Cody! Is Collin out of the bathroom yet?

Cody: Nope, he's still in there crying his eyes out.

Zoey: That poor guy. Has anyone seen BeBe or Tanner?

Justin: I think she went to go talk to Collin. As for Tanner, I have no clue.

Bridgette: This is all my fault. I should have never trusted Heather.

Cody: Didn't she make it quite obvious she wasn't to be trusted?

Bridgette: I guess. Ugh, now I probably just broke up one of the most loving relationships Total Drama has ever seen!

Zoey: No, you didn't!

Jo: Yes, she did.

Bridgette begins to cry.

Cody: Let's be honest here, it wasn't all your fault. BeBe shouldn't have let him kiss her. It's totally their fault!

Bridgette: But if it weren't for me, everything would have just moved on!

Gianna: I, for one, believe that it is no big deal. Couples break up all the time and then they just get back together. It is a TV show after all.

Justin: Show some compassion, sheesh.

Gianna: I am simply stating the obvious.

Gianna:(conf) They'll get back together. I can sense it. Psychic powers, duh!

Justin:(conf) I'm not one for comforting a teammate, but Bridgette has never fallen under my manly spell. I respect her.

Cody: Oh look, here comes the Devil now.

BeBe: Hey, I'm really sorry about everything that happened. I sort of knew you knew about it Bridgette.

Bridgette: You aren't mad at me?

BeBe: No, it wasn't your secret to keep. You just had the guts to do what I was too afraid to.

Bridgette: Actually. that was Heather.

BeBe: Yeah, well she's a jerk.

Zoey: How are things with Collin?

BeBe: He won't talk to me.

Jo: Serves you right. That was pretty cruel.

BeBe: It's not like you wouldn't have done the same. Tanner is really hot.

Bridgette: He wears a pant-suit. How is that hot?

BeBe: That was one episode, calm down.

Zoey: I can't believe you are seriously going along with everything. Don't you feel ashamed about what you did?

BeBe: Of course. But, I kind of have no regrets. The kiss was amazing.

Bridgette: Wow, that is super low. You know how much Collin loves you? A LOT! And you go and cheat on him and express that you feel nothing for him.

BeBe: I'm just trying to be honest...

Bridgette: We don't need that kind of bluntness! Next time we go to elimination, you are out!

BeBe: B-but...

Zoey: I'm sorry, but you can't be trusted.

Cody:(conf) As much as Sierra irritates the crap out of me, I would never kiss another girl in front of her. I know what she thinks and honesty is the worst thing to do in that situation.

At the Socialites dorm...

Lindsay: Good morning! Isn't it a lovely day?

Gwen: Well, you have only been asleep for 14 hours! It's 2 o'clock!

Lindsay: Really? Huh.

Gwen: How is it possible for someone to sleep that long?

Heather: Don't ask me.

Gwen: Don't worry. I wasn't.

Heather: Are you seriously igniting this age-old fued again?

Gwen: Don't ask me.

Heather: UGH!

Mike: That alliance with Tyler sure went down in flames.

Courtney: Sorry that I voted for him. He wasn't exactly the most effort-filled teammate.

Mike: It's ok. It's Zoey that I am worried about now. She is trying to change to look cooler and I kind of don't want her to.

Courtney: Why not? Isn't it fine if she changes her own style?

Mike: Of course it's just-

Courtney: You don't want to kiss someone who looks like Jo.

Mike: Right. It just feels so weird! It makes me think that I'm kissing my gym coach.

Brick: I think Jo is kind of cute.

Courtney: And I think you need mental help.

Brick:(conf) Ok, so I have officially started a list of things Courtney has said to me that were mean. That is the big 5. Hundred...

Chris:(over the loudspeaker) MEET ME IN ROOM 103 FOR YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE!

When the students arrive, they see a room with test tubes and labs at different stations. Collin finally stops bawling his eyes out when Tanner enters, then he glares with anger.

Tanner: Finally stopped crying like a three year old girl, huh?

Collin: Oh shut up you girlfriend stealer!

Tanner: She's not your girlfriend anymore is she?

Collin:(conf) BeBe I can forgive, eventually. But TANNER WILL BURN IN THE FIERY GATES OF-

Tanner:(conf) I'm so smooth at this game. I'm like an over blended smoothie. No?

Courtney: Um, so exactly what is the challenge?

Chris: Isn't it obvious? It's Science class!

Heather: Wow, our first real subject!

Courtney: Of course the first official subject we do is the one that I've had the worst experiences in!

Heather: What kind of experiences do you mean?

Courtney: Like I'm going to tell you, blabber mouth!

Heather:(conf) Ok, so I ratted out another secret, big deal. But that doesn't mean I can't be trusted with another, DUH!

Lindsay: I see where Courtney's coming from. One time I told my friend Fiona's boyfriend that she had hair extensions and he totally dumped her for like a whole minute. That's why I never tell secrets, like how Courtney lost the school election because she failed her final in Science!

Courtney: NO!

Courtney:(conf) This is what happens when you have a 'girls night' with Lindsay and Beth in Season 2. NEVER. AGAIN.

Gwen: Hey, it's cool, Court.

Courtney: Really?

Gwen: Yeah, half of these losers probably fail EVERY subject!

Courtney: Wow, even though you still hate me from Season 5 you provide some pretty comforting pep talks!

Gwen:(conf) I let Courtney have her moment, even after the whole three-season-scandal. I've been in her shoes. Literally, I stole them from her duffel bag, they're so cute! Oh gosh, do I sound like Lindsay?

Chris: Enough with all the drama already!

BeBe: Did you seriously just say that?

Chris: Oh no, I must be sick. OH CHEF! Can you take over the challenge for today?

Everyone: NO!

Chef: Sure Chris. Go take a long nap. This is going to take a while.

Chris: Thanks. See ya!

Chef: Alright, maggots. Today's challenge is purely scientific. Each team will split into partners and create atom bombs out of random elements I give you. You will then use those bombs against the other team in some big old showdown in the gym. Last person standing wins immunity for their team. Here are the partners: Zoey and Justin, Gianna and Jo, Collin and Tanner, Bridgette and BeBe, Gwen and Heather, Mike and Brick, and Courtney is with Lindsay. Here are your ingredients. Go.

Cody: Um, you forgot about me.

Chef: Hm. I did. You're my partner, squirt!

Cody:(gulps)

Cody:(conf) Being partners with Chef is like being partners with an atom bomb itself! Can't I just throw him at the other team? Nah, too heavy.

Justin: Well, hello, Zoey.

Zoey: Hmph. Good evening, Justin.

Justin: I think we should mix this with this and then add this and drink half of this and pour it in and then stir that and bam. Atom bomb.

Zoey: Whoa. That was quick.

Justin:(conf) I have extensive knowledge on war, what with being a famous actor and all that!

Zoey:(conf) We may hate each other, but he's pretty good!

Tanner and Collin start hitting each other with the ingredients.

Collin: Must. Kill. Evil. Attractive. Person.

Tanner: Must. Kill. Sweet. Kind. Attractive As Well. Person.

Collin: Ok, stop. This is getting awkward.

Tanner: What do you suggest we do?

Collin: Maybe we can work together to win for our team and-

Tanner: Or I could just hit you with this sleeping gas and take all the glory for myself.

Collin gets hit in the face with a sleep-bomb and falls to the floor, knocked out.

Jo: Ok, Freakianna, what do you think we should do?

Gianna: Put this here and that in here and WHAM!

The bomb explodes in their face.

Chef: Ok, little one, we are going to do this with this!

Cody: Won't that cause a chemical reaction and possible blow the school up?

Chef: DO YOU QUESTION MY AUTHORITY?

Cody: N-no! Here! D-d-do it yourself!

Courtney: Ok so-

Lindsay: ITS SO BUBBLY, HEHEHE!

Courtney:(conf) Just like your brain!

Lindsay: I think we should do this and this and then BOOM!

Courtney: Fine. That CO2 should work with the H and C to create some kind of reaction.

Lindsay: Hehehehehe, I like reactions. BOO! That's like cheese, right? Gorgonzola, Cheddar, Swiss-

Courtney:(conf) If she names one more type of cheese I'm going to lose it!

Lindsay: And Mozzarella!

Courtney: AHHHHHHH!

Courtney picks up the bomb and ignites it. It does nothing.

Lindsay: Oh, your theory was wrong, huh?

Courtney: NOT A WORD!

Chef: Alright, to the battlefield!

Team Sharpeners go to the blue side and Team Socialites go to the red side.

Courtney: You're going down suckers!

Zoey: Alright! Gotcha Heather!

Heather: Ugh!

Bombs explode around Zoey.

Zoey: EEP!

Mike: Zoey! No!

Jo: Hahahaha! That was hilarious!

Cody: Jo, you just wasted all of our bombs on Zoey!

Jo: What, that was all? You made like 50!

Cody: No, I didn't make any at all!

Justin: WHAT?

Tanner: Tsk tsk tsk. Only one bomb left. Mine.

Gianna: Throw it at Brick and Gwen! They're the only ones left!

Brick: Permission to protect the lady ma'am?

Gwen: I don't need protection, I can take care of myself!

Brick: That's impossible, you're just a girl!

Gwen: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!

Heather: That little....

Courtney: I'M GONNA MURDER YOU YOU SEXIST JERKFACE!

Brick:(conf) I wasn't trying to be sexist...

Tanner throws the bomb at Collin.

BeBe: Oh my gosh, NO!

The bomb explodes and Collin flies into the ceiling.

Collin: Ow....

BeBe: What the heck did you just do? He could be dead!

Tanner: If we're lucky!

Gwen: Take this, Tanner!

She throws a bomb at him and it explodes in his face.

Chef: The Socialites win and Sharpeners lose. See ya at elimination or whatever...

At the ceremony...

Chef: So, apparently, Collin has to go home due to injury.

Collin appears in a gurney, covered in bandages.

BeBe: No! He can take it Chef, please don't let him go!

Chef: You wanna stay?

Collin: (in a muffled voice) NO!

Chef: Collin stays!

Collin: Ugh.

Chef: So he gets the first pass. (Gets a phone call) Ok it's a double elimination. The producers want more drama, so the next amount of votes will eliminate the second. Gianna and Zoey get passes. So does BeBe and Tanner. That's a shocker. Justin gets a pass too. Bridgette, Cody, and Jo remain. The final pass goes to....

Tanner: See ya, Tattle Tale!

Bridgette: Oh no!























































Chef: Bridgette!

Cody: I understand. I kind of saw that coming.

Jo: Excuse me? I worked so hard and made tons of bombs!

Zoey: But then, you wasted them all on me!

Jo: Hmph. You guys just can't take a joke! Oh well, bye losers!

Cody: Now I have to go home to Sierra. I CHANGE MY MIND THIS IS AWFUL!

Chef: What? It's time for the outro? Um drama drama drama and stuff. What will happen? Find out next time on Total Drama Campus Life. Can I get paid now?