When Life Finally Began

Chapter 9

The look in Jenna's eyes when she woke up was priceless. Her smile glowed, I've never seen a girl so happy. Her hair had already started to fall out; but she didn't seem bothered. Never in my life have I seen such a smile.

"My room it's so beautiful." Her eyes stare.

"Surprise!" Mia shouts. Her chubby legs jumped up, and down. 

"Hey Jenna, this is Mia my niece. She helped us decorate your room." I sit at the end of her bed. She reacts slightly to my pressure, and stares at me. Chemo can do that to you.

"Did I sleep all day?" She stretches and yawns.

"It's 5:30 now, so I'll have to go in thirty minutes."

"That's good, at least I'll get to see you part of the day."

"Tomorrow I'll be back though!" I smile weakly, I hated being around sick people, which is funny cause I'm sick. The tired voice makes me go crazy. I sometimes managed, for special people.

"What if I didn't want you to come?" She says suddenly. It was like she could read my thoughts. I knew I would much rather be in her place, although I guess I really am.

"Then I won't come, I may come every other day if that makes me feel better." I always hated it when there were people in my room, it made me feel weak. No one cared about how I was feeling, they didn't leave once I pretended to sleep, they whispered about me. I guess that's the perks of being a cancer patient.

"That would be nice." Her eyes start to close, I can see her fighting back. She was trying to stay strong, even if it was hopeless.

"Want me to go?" I whisper.

"Can I call when I feel like having people in my room?" She murmurs, sleep already washing over her.

"Of course, I'll have my phone with me 24/7." She waves.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, I'm staying till Mom gets here." Dustin whispers to Jenna, who nods slightly in reply. 

"Bye El." He hugs me. 

"Are you going to text me goodnight?" I joke.

"Nah I'll just come to your house and say goodnight."

"My Mom will love that," I scoff. She hated the fact I was dating someone in general. Maybe cause all the girls I grew up being forced to play with have photos of them kissing, and act like idiots on the internet. I wasn't one of those girls though.

"Bye lovely." He holds onto me for a while before letting go. I already hated being away from him. Maybe I always did. Were we destined to be together? Would I die before I could ever find out if we are? I know I'll worry every day for the rest of my life that I'll die. We spend our whole lives dying thought so it's not that big of a deal.

"Can you carry me?" Mia pulls on my jeans. This little act annoyed me so much, to think could actually stand her today. She just had to mess that up.

"Do you have two legs?" 

"Well yeah, but--

"So you can walk right?" She was already two feet ahead of me, and still was running. "Stop right now!" A car nearly hit her.

"You’re so mean!" She begins to cry, "All I ever did was have some fun, and run a little."

"Fine, let's play stay close to Aunt Ella, and pretend we're attached." should have had Dustin carried her into the car. I drag her to the car, and lift her into the back seat. She happily rejoices with her doll, and begins to talk with it. It was going to be a long car ride.

"Mommy!" She calls, Ciara was carrying stuff, and putting it in the trunk. Mia desperately tries to unbuckle her seat; but fails, and ends up kicking, and crying.

"Hold on!" I help her out, she immediately runs for her, who warmly embraces her. "She is exhausting, how do you live with all the running?"

"I don't have cancer," she says quietly. Her words stung, even though they were entirely true. I still couldn't comprehend the fact I had cancer. I was told I had a high tolerance for pain, maybe it was true. I knew one thing for sure though. I still felt the cancer.

"When I'm going to the airport with you guys?

 "Thirty minutes." 

"Yay, can't wait," I say weakly. For those thirty minutes I stare into the distance. The world continued moving. It continued growing, and dying. We wouldn't be remembered unless we were famous for acting, singing, and writing. What about the nurse? The one that made the girl that's dying of cancer smile, even though she had to go home and take care of her two children. 

I wondered who lived where I live now. Did they have their first kiss in the backyard? Did their parents smile from the window, proud that their house was the place where their daughter had her first kiss there. Or was it just one face peeking through the window? Hoping she doesn't follow in their steps. Who could know? 

I stare out my window, I try to imagine the past going by. Who could know? The house watched the families over and over again. Who slept in my room? I may be spent too much time focusing on the past. When I was really little I had asked my Mom to find the people who lived in our house before us, I said, if I die would you find them for me?

She never found them, maybe never even look. That didn't matter though, not when you spent hours in bed.

"Auntie Ella, come on we're leaving!" Mia storms into my room. Her hair had little red ribbons, and had on a matching red dress which was covered in tiny little flowers. I swear parents change their kid’s clothes three times a day.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, calm down!"

The back seat of their car was awkward. It was stuffed with every type of toy that existed, and had little screens in the back of the seats so Mia could watch TV.

"Can I watch TV please?" Mia begs. She put up her best puppy dog face, and stared into Jace's face. "I'll be extra quiet!"

"No, you'll have to wait." He says sternly. He was much different than the guy I grew up with. I could see the wear of having kids, and keeping a job in his face. 

"But I want too now!" She throws a fit, and starts screaming.

"Do you want me to pull over? Cause I can right now!" Ciara hollers.

"I want to watch ponies!" Ciara quickly pulls over and begins to yell, "You know Daddy and I have to go somewhere. Don't make us regret letting you come with us!" I sat quietly, I didn't want to interrupt their parenting moment.

She sniffles, and folds her arms across her chest.

I help them get to their flight on time. Holding on to a screaming Mia, she was crying about her parents leaving. I thought it was a mean thing to do. I remember when I was six I cried cause my grandfather was driving me to their house, I didn't want to leave my mom.

"You’re going to be in first grade don't you think you can handle it?" Jace gets down to her level.

"I guess, I'll miss you though." She sniffles.

After tearful goodbyes, and watching their plane disappearing into the sunset, I drag the tearful Mia to my house. I immediately crash in my room, only checking my phone once. Dustin texted me, he said, sleep well beautiful. I press my phone to my heart. Smiling at the words. My heart was soaring high, it seemed cancer was sinking. 

I fell asleep imagining my cancer sinking, into darkness, a darkness that could only be filled with illness. I knew miracles happened, could I be a miracle?