When Life Finally Began

Chapter 17

When I woke up in the morning I could still feel the buzz from the kiss.

It was my first kiss. Most girls my age would have kissed by now, quite honestly it was embarrassing. I mean I've had a fake boyfriend before, when you're too young to understand and comprehend the world around you. 

 "Hi, El I've been waiting for you to awake." Dustin was leaning against a pillow, which I'm pretty sure wasn't there when I went to sleep.

"Were you watching me?" I say. 

"Only for the past ten minutes or so, don't worry you are a beautiful sleeper."

"Oh yeah?" I sit up. My hair stuck to my forehead, the air was damp.

"Yeah, your face is really relaxed, and you look happy."

"I'm always happy!" I lie.

"No you're not, you just think people won't notice you're tears. I know you cover up."

"What do you mean?" I felt like he could read my thoughts. He saw what no person could see.

"Well, you once mentioned you wanted to run away from cancer, which you were smart enough to know you couldn't do. You spent you're whole life wishing you could die. You were never once happy. You always felt you didn't belong on earth. You deny it though."

It was undeniably, I had felt this way sense I was only eight. A small girl who once had big dreams. The world was set on my shoulders and I was doomed to carry it until I died. Anna was no longer there to help carry the weight.

"How do you do that?" I ask, sitting next to him. His hair was messy, and adorable.

"What?"

"Read me like I'm a book."

"You're easy to read, you're always thinking and you're expression gives it away."

"So what am I thinking now?" I question, I could feel him radiating heat.

"You are thinking you want to leave, and go to a dinner with bad food." He says. 

"Ooh let's go!" I say, more excited than Dustin seemed. "I wasn't thinking that though."

"It seems my skills don't work always. Don't underestimate them though." He says sarcastically. "Why are you so excited about a diner anyways?"

"I haven't been to a diner in so long! I don't remember the last time I went to a diner." I say grinning. I spent the majority of ten years in my room, or in a hospital room. It was pure luck I was still alive.

I sat in his car, drumming against the door. He was putting away all my stuff. My Mom that it was necessary that I had, makeup, a camera (which I actually did use), a hairbrush (I haven't used a brush sense I relapsed five years ago). 

"Did you really need all this stuff?" Dustin jumps into the front seat panting.

"Yes, because clearly I have a huge use for a hairbrush." I gesture to my boy short hair.

"It's getting longer, it's almost as long as mine." He grins. His hair wasn't long; but it wasn't exactly a buzz cut. It hung just above his ears.

"Cause every girl wants to hear her boyfriend say her hair is shorter." I roll my eyes.

"It works on you, it's actually really cute. I love your hair!" He plays with a small curl.

"Then you better hope the doctors decide I'm healthy enough for chemo." I smirk. I had secretly been waiting for the doctor to tell me I'm going to have to have chemo again. The thought of going back to the hospital, and feeling like I'm about to die was scary. 

"Isn't the cancer going away?" He asks.

"It's not that simple, they want it to be completely gone. In order to do that you have to get rid of the cancerous cells. You can still always relapse anyways." 

"Relapse?" He says, one of his eyebrows slanting up.

"You know when the cancer comes back. I'm never going to be the same as I was before."

He looks at me, as if he was comprehending the truth. Most aren't aware of the true horrors of cancer. It's a scar that lives with you forever. A solider may make it out of battle alive; but that doesn't mean they are going to live like it never happened.

"Well that looks like a good diner to get bad food," he pulls over at a diner called Diner for Travelers. Yes it was actually called that. 

"Wow how original." I smirk.

"Yes, I bet they serve the greasiest pancakes ever!"

We walk into the sixties. They literally had waitresses sliding around on Roller-blades, and a jukebox playing old songs. If you ignored the peeling paint, and dusty furniture, I could see the old fashion vibe.

"Why don't you have a seat? Anywhere is good." A waitress with bleached blonde hair slid up to us. She looked annoyed, and seemed to be thinking I can't believe I got stuck serving teens in the middle of nowhere. 

"Thanks, lovely place you got here. I love the theme." Dustin says politely.

"What? Oh Hun we are wearing the same uniforms they wore fifty years ago. Trust me it's not a theme." She smacks her lips, showing her bright green gum.

"So they are literally the same ones?" I ask.

"I dunno maybe, I just know this place is rundown, and bound to close." She hands us the menus. 

"Well maybe you could say its part of the theme?" Dustin says.

"I don't have time to lie Hun. So dear do you have cancer? Or is short hair in style?" She looks at me.

"I'll have waffles." I say.

"Oh you and you're waffles," Dustin says smiling. He kisses my cheek.

"Ugh save that for wherever you're going." The waitress rolls her eyes.

"I'll have some waffles as well." Dustin says, looking at me.

"They'll be coming right up dear." She says with a smirk. I could see her years from now still working here.

"Wasn't she lovely?" I laugh softly.

"Oh she seemed so glad to have us here. She should be thankful to have two customers!" 

"I think we may be their only customers." 

"Probably the only customers for the day." 

The waffles, not surprisingly were very greasy, and gross. They were dripping with butter, and cheap syrup. I ate every single bite. 

They also gave us sweet tea. That was much better, and very satisfying. 

"Shall we go?" I ask.

"Yeah, we have to visit Jenna!" My mom texted me saying she feels better, and may be going home! 

"Yay, I haven't seen her in a week!" I say gleefully.

Dustin drives on the highway. I stared at the window as the world passed. There were a few rundown trailers, but mostly all I saw were trees, and farmland. I could understand why people lived on these small farms away from everything. The world moved slowly, as if everything slowed down.

"I love it here."

"It would be a nice place to live." Dustin admits.

"No, it would be the perfect place to live." I say.

I would probably never get the chance to live in the middle of nowhere, but it didn't hurt to dream. I could see me and Dustin having picnics in a field of wildflowers. It was heaven on earth.