All That You Are Is All I'll Ever Need

6

Somewhere in the back of Louis’ mind he thinks he should have just gone to his social science class. But his left turn turned into a right turn, and the university turned into a crappy flat complex, and the sweet smell of Harry turned into this shit. Louis wrinkles his nose as he looks for Niall's shitty fucking apartment.

There it is, in all its tossing glory, is Louis’ first thought upon walking up to number 56. And then his next series of thoughts is walking away, and he does - walks right back down the corridor and to the stairwell. But then Harry's crying fills his ears. And every sob, word, ‘no’, fills his ears, flushing through his mind in painful shocks that makes him turn the fuck back around.

He stops at Niall's door, shapes a fist.

Falling apart in the bathroom, flinching, and freezing, breaking, breaking, broken. Harry blanching at the smell of black coffee, Harry whitening at loud noises, his eyes widening at the bruises on strangers. Roses, and watches, and apologies.

(Louis remembers when they were at this little market on the east side of town, shopping for organic foods because Harry wanted to make a detox meal paired with mint-lemon water. He was browsing the produce bins, gently tracing his fingers over each item. Louis remembers watching him, completely captivated by the way he was so benign with every single thing.

Then: “Mark, Mark! Clean up!”

And Louis watched Harry become bloodless, completely pallid. Louis watched as Harry stopped moving, entirely obsolete as two workers ran by with mops and brooms.

Harry winces every time he hears his name.

They still haven't gone back to that little market.

Mark. Mark. Mark.)

Louis knocks with a doubtful hand, but he knows that this is something he needs to do.

There is stumbling and a little bit of yelling, before Niall is pulling open the door with the biggest smile, and yeah, that's Niall. So gratified it is almost sickening to the cynical.

“Lou, what brings you by,” he pauses, eyes narrowing, “and where’s Curly?”

Louis takes in a deep breath, shaking his head, “At his flat, I wanted to- uhm," he freezes up, looking down, "I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Niall's confusion fills his face as he invites Louis in with curiosity. His flat smells like Febreeze and musk, despite the pizza boxes on the table and the clothes strewn about. “Yeah, what's up?”

He knows he shouldn't.

But instead of knowing he shouldn't, he sits down on the couch and Niall sits on the arm of it, watching Louis cautiously.

“Lou-”

“Okay, let’s say I have a friend, and like, a couple years ago said friend was in a bad relationship.”

Niall's eyes line and he bites his lip, “Bad relationship? Are you and Harry okay? What’s going on?”

“It was two years ago Ni, keep up,” Louis shakes his head in frustration, not looking up to Niall, “and let’s say one of them was abusive, like sexually, and verbally, and, uh, physically. What could you do about that now?”

“I don't - I would have to go get my law book and see if it's in there- I-”

(Louis remembers the first time his heart was torn from his chest and he felt like he was dying. He didn't know how he would ever fill the empty place in his chest, he didn't think anything could ever fill the darkness inside of him.