So, to start this book off right, I did this. 😁 requests are open
I call this one 'How to piss off members of the DC universe'
🚨Has mature stuff so yeah + mild swearing🚨
You can decide if you're in a relationship or not, but it mostly makes sense if you are.
Green Lantern/Hal Jorden
•Paint his room yellow
•Steal his ring when he isn't looking
•Make fun of him for liking Wonder-woman
•Push him into Flash often
•Tell him that he's a bad pilot
•Have Justice League meetings without telling him
•Call for John instead of him when you're in danger
•Scold him for being reckless
•Flirt with Flash in front of him
•Disappear for three days and don't say anything about your disappearance when you come back
•Ask him why he is so obsessed with the color green
•Tell him he isn't funny
•Tell him that John could easily beat him in a fight (which we all know is true)
•Mess up his hair after he spent a long time styling it
• Squeeze his cheeks and call him a 'little smarty pants' when he does something smart
•Hide his ring and give him a fake one so his 'powers' don't work and laugh at him when he thinks he isn't good enough to be a superhero anymore
•Give him a big hug after that and give him back his ring because no one likes a sad Hal
•Buy him ice cream then smash it into his face
•Ignore him randomly then start talking to him like nothing ever happened
Batman/Bruce Wayne
•Steal his mask and cape and wear it around the WatchTower pretending to be Batman
•Tell him to stop flirting with Wonder-woman all the time
•Pretend to be mad at him for not telling you he's Batman
•Hog up the whole bed at nighttime
•After sex, tell him he did 'okay.'
•Steal his children for a whole day without telling him
•Also steal Alfred
•Tell him he couldn't beat Superman in a fight if he tried
•Hang around with Clark a lot
•Pretend to always be hiding a big secret
•Steal the Bat mobile
•Slap him every time he says 'I'm Batman'
•Tell him Dick is very handsome and that if you were younger you'd definitely date him
•Throw his Batarangs randomly around the manor
•Imitate him
•Tease him for being a playboy
•Whenever he's talking to a league member, come up and throw your arms around that person while nodding intently like you're listening to the conversation
• Call him 'Bat Boy'
•Throw stuffed bats at him
Flash/Barry Allen
•Call him a 'fatty' for eating so much
•Touch his little ear lightning things whenever you get the chance
•Grab his butt as much as you can
•Ignore him when he flirts with you
•Tease him for being so fast in bed
•Constantly ask him to get things for you that are far away
•Look at him like he said something stupid after he talks
•Always beat him at chess
•Become friends with Reverse Flash or Zoom or
•Yawn during sex
•Tell him you think Hal has a crush on him
•Whenever he flirts with the females of the Justice League, flirt with Hal or Clark
•Tell him Batman is your favorite hero
•Tell him the Flash museum is unnecessary and stupid and why isn't there a (Y/N) museum?
•Hide all the food
•Whenever he runs by, trip him
•Ask Diana to use her lasso on him so you can get him to say embarrassing things
•Video tape this and show it to the league
•Call him 'blondie' consistently
Superman/Clark Kent
•Put huge amounts of gel into his hair and style it into a Mohawk
•Hide his glasses
•Push him a lot to see if he'll fall over. Especially do this when he is working so he'll have to fall over in order to keep his alter ego secret
•Call him a 'country boy'
•Wolf whistle at him a lot
•Tease him for wearing his underwear on the outside of his clothes
•Tell him Batman could easily beat him in a fight
•Hide Kryptonite in your apartment
•Apologize afterword
•Hang out with Bruce a lot
• Tell him your favorite superhero is Batman
•Flush the toilet when he's showering. It doesn't hurt him, but he sure gets annoyed
•Throw glitter at him
•Pat his head like a child
•"Diana is really pretty, don't you think, Clark?" "Yeah, she is." "Clark!" "What?!"
•Tell him his news articles are 'okay'
Nightwing/Dick Grayson
•Tease him about his old costumes
•Pull his hair a lot
• Touch his butt a lot, especially in front of his team mates
•Talk about Jason and about how hot he is
•Talk about all his old girlfriends and make him uncomfortable
•Brush off his flirting
•Don't talk to him for a whole day
•Tell him he looks like a dog with his hair so long
•"So, why aren't you apart of the Justice League yet?"
•Tell him his acrobatics are 'okay'
•Whenever he's laying on his stomach, press your face against his butt
•Ask him why he is blushing
•Complain about having to stitch him up after he comes home with injuries
•Disappear all night
•Apologize for worrying him
•Always leave him sexually frustrated
•Tell him Jason is the best Robin
•Whenever he try's to touch you, ignore him and play on your phone
•Never do what he says during a mission
•Talk about your favorite celebrities and heroes and how hot they are.
•Tell him he'd be cooler with superpowers
•"Tim is definitely Bruce's favorite son." "What? No way, I'm his favorite!" "Please! Tim is the smartest, he follows rules better, he's not rude, he's not cocky or sarcastic..." "I was his first son, so that means I'm his favorite!" "Sure...."
•So basically telling him that he isn't Bruce's favorite son.
•Use his made up words over excessively
Kid Flash/Wally West
•Ruffle his hair
•Always call him 'devil spawn', you know, because he's a red head.
•Tease him about being the slowest speedster
•Trip him when he's speeding around
•Whenever he fights with the other team mates (Artemis especially), always take their side
•Unless it's serious
• Steal his goggles and wear them around
•Always talk about how cool Impulse is
•Put down his science whenever possible
•Laugh whenever you see him
•"Hey Flash Boy!"
•Hang out with Robin more then him
•Ask him if he's ever heard of a cup. (You know, because his suit is so tight? Yeah, no. This is a bad one.)
•Whenever you're at his house, spend more time talking to his parents then time you spend talking to him
•Consistently ask him the secret identity of Robin and get mad when he won't tell you
•Magic, magic, magic, and more magic!
•Tell him he's basically a 'fangirl' for liking Flash so much
•Your favorite superhero is yourself, but then again, so is his.
Raven/Raven?
•Steal her cape and walk around the tower pretending to be her
•Sneak in her room and take naps
•Talk to her when she's meditating
•Pick up some of Beast boy's jokes
•Use puns all the time
•Play 'I got your nose' with her
•Blow kisses at her
•Ask her if she has a crush on Beast Boy
•Whenever she gets angry and demon-like, tell her she's cute and kiss her on the nose
•Play with her hair
•Ask her to spin you around with her powers
•Ask to do 'girly' stuff with her like paint nails or have a makeover
•Tell her to 'lighten up'
•Blast loud music
•Touch her face randomly
•Mess around with her things
•Say her 'line' whenever you're about to do something. (Abracath Mentrios Zinthos? Or something?)
•"So when do I get to meet your dad?" "Never."
Tim Drake/Red Robin
•Use dirty pickup lines
•"Hey baby, are you my pinkie toe? Because I want to bang you against ever piece of furniture I own." "Seriously?" "What? Haha, you're blushing."
•Call him a 'nerd'
•Tell him jokes aren't his thing, and that he should stick to being smart.
•Blush and stutter whenever one of his older brothers come around
•Tell him he needs a better superhero name
•Ask him how many girlfriends he's had
•Braid his hair whenever the chance arrives
•Ask him how he feels about taking Jason's spot as Robin after he died
•Apologize afterword you little snot rag
•Argue with him who the best Robin is
(And always say Damian)
•Ask him about his interests but don't listen when he talks
•Tell him anyone could be a hacker and that he isn't special
•Tell him he is special and that's why you love him
•If he was different in any way, he wouldn't be Tim, and you wouldn't have fallen in love with him.
•"Why is it so hard to be mean to you?" "Because you love me." "Why are you always right?"
Dog Welder
•wtf no
Your favorite author - finny
