Made To Be (a Mailbox Girl spin-off)

9. Dorm Life

THE NEXT FEW DAYS went surprisingly well. But I mean, it would have been hard to top that first day at college.

I did not get hit in the face, did not get humiliated by a teacher, did not have to face another homophobe. And Samantha was actually to be expelled of the dorm by the week-end. She had been forbidden to live on campus ever again but had been allowed to stay at Yale.

To Ariel and many other of my dormmates, it was a shame. One of them even started a Facebook page calling out for her definite expel. The page gathered around a thousand members but I quickly managed to shut it down.

First, because I didn't want any type of incident involving me to be spread around the Internet. Second, because I was slightly afraid it would piss Samantha off even more. Such a hateful and easily angered person was not someone I'd push to her limits.

Before the day of her departure, on Saturday morning, I had room-hopped a few times. I staid two nights at Ariel and Jasmine's then one night with that basketball-player-like girl – who was called Karen –,another night with the small blondie that had hugged me on the night of the incident and then back again with Ariel and Jasmine. It had been a great way to actually get to know these girls – and their roommates – and to remember that kind people were the norm.

Even though I was unpurposely out to everyone in the dorm, the Samantha incident had left a bitter taste in the way I pictured people to react to my sexuality. For the first time in forever, I apprehended showing the real me to strangers.

The few friends I had made in my classes were not aware of the fact that I was gay. And I was sure not ready to come out to them. Even to Demarcus, the gigantic baby-faced elbow-fighter. Both of us had had lunch together everyday of the week, yet I couldn't get my head overcoming out to him.

Every time he brought up a topic that would have enabled me to do so, a weight seemed to crush on my chest. I didn't want Samantha and homophobes in general to have such a deep impact on my life but sadly they did. I didn't feel safe with my sexual orientation anymore.

On Saturday morning, I was reading her horoscope out loud to Jasmine – who was braiding her Raiponce-like hair – when Demarcus texted me.

"There's a party at Demarcus older brother's frat house tonight." I read aloud, mildly annoyed that I had been interrupted in my daily astrology session.

"Demarcus, that guy in political science with you?" Jasmine asked without even bothering to lift her head.

"Yes, him."

"Are we invited?"

"I can ask."

"Hm-kay. I believe Ariel wanted to throw you some kind of surprise party to celebrate the crazy bitch's departure. This is even better. We won't even have to buy food."

I raised my eyebrows at Jasmine's careless tone. She really had one of a kind way to deliver news, that was for sure.

"Why are you telling me about my surprise?" I teased while texting Jasmine's question back to Demarcus.

"Yeah, right." She sighed. "Shouldn't have. Don't tell Ariel about it."

"I-"

Ariel burst inside the room as I was about to answer, her hair still wet from the shower she had just taken and a long neon-green bathrobe over her body. From her hair to all her shoes, this girl didn't seem to have any uncolored piece of clothing in her entire wardrobe. All of her clothes weren't as blinding as this bathrobe, though.