Ambivalence [p.h.] - EDITING

chapter 25 || fear landscape (again)

A/N finally the part all of you have been waiting for – the kissing scene. Funny story; I've never actually kissed anyone before so this is being based off other stories I've read (most of them from wattpad but some from legitimate books too). It took me a long time to get done, but here it is. So yes, I apologize if it doesn't seem realistic, but hey, I tried. Hope you like it!

The last thing I see is Peter's forest green eyes less than an inch away from mine. His hand gently cups my chin as the other rests on my back, gently pulling me closer and closer until the subtle yet intoxicating smell of sandalwood and amber floods into my senses and I relax. The pads of his fingers are calloused, complimenting the warmth radiating off of them and onto me. I'm pretty sure my heart is pounding so hard that everybody in Dauntless can hear it, above the rushing waters of the chasm beside us. The usual chatter and laughter of members roaming around fades out until there's only us. He stares into my eyes, starry and wonder-filled, though nervous about what has yet to come. Peter's lips curve into a slight smile as he commits every inch of my face to memory, before he leans in even closer. I tilt my neck upwards, slowly and surely, until his lips ghost over mine.

And that, my friends, is when Peter gently lifts my face up and locks our lips together.

Colours I'd never imagined before shoot around as my eyes flutter shut. The softness of his lips generates a smooth, serene atmosphere amongst the rugged rock and chasm as they move against mine. He kisses me gently; his hands just a whisper on my back and my neck yet secure enough that he's sure I won't leave. He kisses me gently, as if I were a porcelain doll; as if I was fragile and would break with one wrong move. My arms snake around his neck lightly, allowing my fingers to travel up the nape of his neck and get tangled in his brunette locks. My heart speeds up, beating at a mile a minute, amplifying even more when Peter pulls me closer to him. I rise up on my toes as my breathing begins to grow unsteady. I don't know how much time passes before I need to come up for air. Stupid oxygen.

The kiss slows down a bit before we both pull away. His arm is still secure around my waist and my back, the other hand creeping upwards to cradle my face. I press my forehead against his, momentarily keeping my eyes closed until I can fully accept what just happened. My eyelids flutter open though my breath is still uneven and my heart is still beating rapidly. I barely even notice the sound of footsteps around us echoing throughout the Pit as I stare into the depth of the familiar green that gives me comfort.

"Woah," is the only thing I can think to say.

"Yeah," Peter whispers back. "Woah." His thumb brushes over one of my high cheekbones as his other fingers trace the subtle freckles dotting my skin.

"You're my person too," I breathe. "You're in almost all of my fears, but I guess it's the fear of losing you that hurts me the most. Scares me the most." I pause.

"Remember my chain link fence?" I nod at the reference Peter makes to his tattoo. "Do you remember what it means?"

"The wall you put up to keep yourself in. To keep others out."

"Yeah," Peter exhales. "That. You broke the fence Jax. You broke down my walls. And, God, I'm so glad I let you in." I gaze at him with wide eyes before I lean in for an innocent hug. My arms stay around his neck as the hand caressing my face travels down and snakes around my waist. Peter pecks me on the forehead once again before everyone starts clapping. I cling onto him as I face the crowd that somehow gathered around us without me noticing. They all cheer and whoop for us, which causes me to blush and half hide my face in Peter's chest. I scan the crowd for anyone I know before meeting Lynn's gaze. She gives me a thumbs up and I can't help but allow my smile to grow even wider. After a moment I look back at Peter.