Cheating is Too Easy

Chapter Thirteen: I Promise on my Love of Johnny Depp

Chapter Thirteen: I Promise on my Love of Johnny Depp

     Becca and I finished up the night with a bottle of wine and a Humphrey Bogart movie, The Maltese Falcon.

     “I love the part when Bogie and the bitch are talking about how he’s going to send her to jail. It’s priceless. ‘I hope they don’t hang you, precious, from that sweet neck.’ No, my favorite part is when she slaps the short man with the weird voice and then he raises his hand at her. As the short man tries to grab his gun, Bogie gets up and tells him ‘When you’re slapped, you’ll take it and like it.’ Then he slaps the shit out of him.”

     I laughed with Becca. “Yeah it’s a good movie.” I yawned and stretched from sitting on the couch. “It’s bed time for me.”

     “Ugh,” she groaned. “You are such a party pooper!”

     I looked around pointedly. “I must be missing something because this doesn’t look like a party to me.”

     “You’re just jealous.”

     I had to hear this. “Jealous of what, Rebecca?”

     “Jelly of my awesomeness!” she yelled as she threw a pillow at my head.

     “Be jelly of me sleeping, bitch!” I yelled back.

     She gasped. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”

     “Take a wild guess, dork.”

     “I don’t appreciate being called a whale’s pinto,” she said with her hands on her hips.

     “Everybody knows that dork means pig’s pinto.”

     Becca was quiet for a moment. Then, as usual, burst into song. “I never meant to start a war. I just wanted you to let me in. I guess I should’ve let you win. Don’t you ever say I just walked away. I will always want you.” She paused for effect, her hand in a fist of enthusiasm. “I came in like a wrecking ball. I never hit so hard in love. All I wanted was to break your walls. All you ever did was wreck me.”

     “Are you done yet?” I knew she wasn’t.

     “Fuck you. Fuck you very, very much. Cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew so please don’t stay in touch. Fuck you. Fuck you very, very much. Cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late so please don’t stay in touch.”

     “Now you’re just being mean, Becca.” I tried to look as hurt as possible. I don’t think it was working.

     “This is my confessional. Seven seconds ‘til I hit the ground, but you saved my life. Now I feel indestructible. So protected when you’re around, yeah, you saved my life. You make me, you make me feel so incredible. You and I, you and I feels – unbelievable. You make it, you make it so undeniable.” She started playing the drums with her hands. “A millions hearts, you’re the only one who lights it up like I’m glowing in the dark. A million hearts, you’re the only one who lights me up, like I’m glowing in the dark.”

     “I love you, Becca.”

     She smiled and strutted to the kitchen for her late-night snack. Gotta love this chick.

     I woke up to my phone going off on my nightstand. For a second, I thought it was my alarm before I realized someone was calling me.

     “Hello?” I was sure my morning breath would melt anything within breathing distance.

     “Hey Jasmin, did I wake you?”

     I looked at the phone and saw that it was Trevor and the time read 9:30. Guess it wasn’t early enough to make snide comments. “Yeah, but it’s fine. What’s up?”