The Place To Be: A Hamiton Fic

Chapter Seven: Anniversary

*Alexs POV
One year after the plane crash.

"Do you want to hold him?" John asked with a big smile, holding his turtle out to me. I scooted away instantly.

"Absolutely not." I shook my head. "He always bites me."

John laughed and cradled his turtle to his chest. "That's just because he hates everyone."

Not you, I thought. But no one could ever hate you.

We were sitting crossed leg on John's bedroom floor, with his turtle tank plopped in between us. John was rearranging all the plastic decorations and letting his turtle, a fat little thing called Ankle, lumber around.

It had been over two months since John and I decided to be real friends again. The date was January 12th. The day after my birthday, and the one year anniversary of the plane crash.

The day my life basically ended.

But John and I had decided not to talk about it. It was in the past. It wasn't even me, really. So we ignored it.

I pretended that he hadn't called me this morning sobbing and begging me to come over, whimpering about how much he needed me there. And John pretended, too. We watched his turtle and listened to the squeals of his little sister as she played with all the toys she'd gotten for Christmas.

"Hey John?" I muttered. "Can I ask you about something?"

John looked up, startled, and slowly lowered his turtle back into the security of his tank. "Sure, Alex." John ran his hand through his messy curls and suddenly looked very tired.

"How close where we?" I asked, my eyes flirting around the room awkwardly. "I mean, I know we were friends. But in the beginning you kept that from me for some reason and I kind of want to know why. I've been talking to Aaron a lot lately, you know, but you're the one thing he refuses to tell me about. Did I...did I hurt you?"

I watched as John's chest rose and fell with a few deep breaths. "How much do you remember?" He asks. That seems like the standard question nowadays.

"I remember....I remember you." I pondered. "I can't explain it. But when I saw you on the street that one day, it unlocked something in me. It was like I had everything back for a moment. I felt full. I just want that feeling back, John. Will you please tell me?"

He turned away. "I can't, Alex. I can't."

"John, please." I grabbed his hand in mine and squeezed it. "At least tell me why I was flying out here to see you."

John turned back to face me again and his eyes were brimming with tears. "Fine. You hurt me, Alex. You really did. But you know what? That wasn't you. It wasn't even you, okay? Because you can't remember it so it doesn't matter anymore. I thought we agreed that we would start fresh! You said yourself the past doesn't matter anymore."

"I want my memories back." I pleaded. "Can't you just help me? Do one damn thing for me?"

"I've done everything for you!" John said through gritted teeth.

I sighed, exasperated. "Yeah, but the problem is I can't remember it!"

"We were in love." John blurted suddenly.

I dropped his hand and stared at him, my mouth wide open in shock."We were....what?"

John looked devastated. His chest deflated and his eyes dropped to the ground, ashamed. "I'm sorry." A tear dropped from John's eye and splattered on the back of his hand. "Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. Damn it. Damn it! I've ruined everything now. I fucked up, and it's over, and I-"

"John." I cut him off. "It's fine. Just please stop rambling."

"No, Alex, I-"

I wasn't really in the mood to hear a classic John Laurens speech, so I shut the man up the only way I knew how. I leaned forward onto my knees and slammed my lips against his.

John gasped in surprise but quickly eased into the kiss. Our lips moved together desperately as my hands grabbed at John's hair and his gripped my waist so tightly I was sure they were the only thing supporting me.

And as my lips tugged at John's, I started to remember.

I remembered wrapping my arms around his waist as best I could, even though they were kind of blocked by his bulky football pads. I remembered an abandoned classroom and John Laurens' freckles. I remembered an old Colonial house for sale, and I remembered an envelope from California in my hands and tears rolling down my face.

"Holy shit." I mumbled as we pulled away. Slowly the memories drained out of my head and I panicked, squeezing my eyes shut to try and regain them.

"Alex?" John sounded worried, and he reached out and touched my face tenderly. "Alex, are you okay? What's happening?"

I opened my eyes. "I remembered."

"What? I don't understand."

"Me neither." I took John's hand from my face and clasped it in my own. "All I know is that I'm sure we did that before. I ....I remember it. John Laurens, I remember you. How could I ever forget a kiss like that?"

John broke out into a huge grin and leaned forward to kiss me again. I let him, but only for a few moments this time. "John." I mumbled against his lips. "Hold up."

John pulled back, the regret obvious in his eyes. "Sorry." He held his hands up. "I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry."

"John, it's okay." I laughed. "Trust me, I'm down for doing that a million times over. But right now we have something bigger to deal with. I...I remembered!"

John smiled again. "Do you think you could be getting better? Alexander, I'm so happy...."

"I don't know." I said uncertainly, but in my head I was bouncing off the walls with pure joy. Could my memories be coming back? "I'm going to make a doctors appointment for tomorrow. Do you...do you think you could come?"

John grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

I smiled and gripped his hands tighter, tugging on his arm so he was pulled on top of me. Our bodies tangled  together as I kissed John Laurens again....and again.....and again.

I may not fully remember John or my old life, but there is one thing I'm sure of. I was absolutely in love with him. And love like that doesn't disappear.

******
How do you guys feel about this? I kind of like it but idk.

In honor of Christmas break I'm going to be posting a LOT.

Ily all! ❤❤❤