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I walked down the hall a little way to make sure we couldn't be overheard. Then I turned around, arms crossed, to face the limping, zombie-faced boy in front of me.
He leaned heavily against the wall, trying to keep as much weight off of his bad leg as possible. We stood still for a good solid, silent minute before I took a deep breath.
"Listen, about Evan-"
He stepped forward and wound his arms around me, tugging my body closer to him.
The air was knocked out of my throat and tears threatened my eyes. I looped my arms around his neck and squeezed my eyes shut, as if that would dismiss all fear of losing him again.
"I missed you," he murmured.
I opened my lips slightly to say how I thought I'd lost him and tell him how much he meant to me...but nothing aside from a weak sob escaped. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as the tears followed, sliding down my cheeks and onto his bare skin.
I stayed like that for longer than I could count. I didn't want to think about the moment where I'd have to pull away from him and let life carry on.
"I'm sorry I didn't come back for you. When the base exploded, I thought-"
I brought my face up, meeting his eyes through my tears. "No, please don't apologize. None of this is your fault," I said.
He wiped the tears from my cheek, leaning down so his eyes were exactly level with mine. "I know, but I wasn't there when you needed me."
I gave him a weak smile. "Yes, you were," I said quietly. "You could've gotten Nugget out long before the base exploded, but you stayed with me. Don't you understand? You did everything you could do. I can't expect anymore than that."
"There's always more that I could've done," he said. "I hated leaving you there. I don't want you to think that I was a...a coward or something."
"Zombie, you are anything but a coward," I said, a laugh of disbelief following. "Why on earth would you think that?"
He shook his head softly. "Because I am," he said softly. "My sister- I couldn't save her. I abandoned her. I just ran...I left her."
Zombie looked away, towards the ground. Never before had I see him look so... so... guilty.
He ran his hand through his hair slowly, avoiding my eyes. "I thought I had lost you, just like I'd lost her," he murmured.
I bit my lip and looked towards the floor. "Nothing could make me ever think less of you," I said. "I don't think you're a coward and I'm not going to judge you based on your past. We aren't those kids anymore. I'm not Lucy Morgan and you're not Ben Parish."
I thought back to the boy he was in high school, the boy I'd helped in the locker room. Zombie was not that boy. He was much stronger than Ben Parish ever was.
