Perish • Ben Parish

08

I shielded my eyes with my hand, looking out into the distance at Grace's house. It was dawn, and the sun rose steadily above the trees, oranges and pinks streaking across the sky. It was a beautiful, serene image, complete with chirping birds and the seemingly peaceful, silent house. 

I pursed my lip, willing myself to stay concentrated on the task at hand- finding a way to defeat the Others. 

Ever since last night, when I'd announced my love for Zombie and was brutally rejected, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering back to the memories we'd shared. 

First, I'd thought about the times in Wright Patterson and the sparring sessions filled with so much unknown sexual tension. 

Second, I thought about my time in the hospital wing when Zombie had promised he wouldn't leave me. I thought about how he promised he would find me. 

Then I thought about seeing him again, after nearly freezing to death in the cold Ohio tundra. I though about how I'd found him even after all had seemed to be lost. 

 I thought of Nugget locking us on the top floor of the hotel, in the bare, musty ballroom with floor length windows that looked out for miles. I thought about how he'd finally admitted he had feelings for me. 

And then that brought my to Grace's house, where I thought about the time I'd been cutting Nugget's hair and Zombie had stood there in the doorway. I thought about how perfect life had seemed and how I could've frozen that moment in time to play over and over again. 

I felt my eyes brimming with tears. The wonderful memories from the past were what made the situation last night all that unbearable. I was embarrassed. I was frustrated. And I was completely and utterly at a loss. 

I didn't want to see Zombie again. But at the same time, he's all I wanted to see.  

"That it?" Ringer asked, pointing to the house. 

I nodded. "Yeah," I said, trying to keep my voice as upbeat as possible. 

Zombie already knew how hurt I was. The last thing I needed was everyone else knowing. 

Ringer gave me a curt nod before taking the lead with Constance. I dropped back just enough to give them space but still remain in front of Zombie. 

"Canary," Zombie said hoarsely. 

I shook my head so he could see I wasn't interested. I bit my lip, my eyes squinting in a desperate attempt to hold the tears in. I'd managed to avoid him the entire trip back, engaging in unwanted conversation with Ringer and Constance and walking a few meters in front of everyone during points of the journey. I wasn't about to let all my hard work go to waste, especially when he was just going to whisper more lies. 

"Canary," he said again, his voice firmer this time. He reached out and grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him. 

His face ready of agony and the dark circles under his eyes had returned. 

"Let me go," I said coldly, my teeth grinding against one another. 

"You're right," he said, looking down at me with such intensity I felt like I could crumble to pieces. "I've taken some time to think about it...to think about us. And you're right, I want-" 

"Can you two hurry the hell up? We've got an alien race to take down," Ringer yelled back, her command tearing into the air. 

My vision fogged momentarily before I was able to blink back the tears that had been dangerously closing to spilling out. "Coming," I shouted.