Beyond Repair (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter Nine- Killing Me Slowly

Unsure how to respond, Louis stared wide-eyed at Harry.

What am I to say? Louis thought. Love doesn't even exist. Does it?

"I'm sorry..." Harry spoke with a quavering tone.

Louis grasped Harry's arm before the other boy could escape, "No, no, it's okay, Harry! It's fine. I just... I just..."

Harry grinned a genuine grin. "It's perfectly alright, Lou. I understand."

"Gosh, why can't you just be terrible?" Louis sighed, resting his head on Harry's shoulder.

The two boys moved on from the subject of Harry's affection, but it was still in the back of Louis' mind. He felt horrible for not being able to say it back. He felt horrible that Harry had the misfortune of falling for a heartless jerk like himself.

_

Louis glanced out the window and watched the snowflakes fall and collect in a pile on the ground or splattered against the window. Winter had always been his favorite season; it meant cozy jumpers, Yorkshire Tea, snow, fire, and his birthday, of course.

Louis' attention was captured by the shaking Harry that entered their dorm. He was clad in nothing but a jumper, skinny jeans, and boots. His teeth chattered as he spoke, "B-Bad news,"

"My goodness, Harry," Louis sighed and pealed the covers back, shifting to the right to make a spot for Harry. Harry then collapsed against the mattress. Louis encased the younger boy in his arms, attempting to warm him up. "What's the bad news?"

Harry smiled, feeling Louis' heat radiate on him. "All the flights are cancelled because a massive storms supposed to come. We can't go home anymore,"

"Good," Louis sighed in relief.

Harry perked his head at Louis (making Louis grin because he finds it absolutely adorable when the other boy does that),"You don't want to be with your family for Christmas and your birthday?"

Louis scoffed, "You mean my 67 year old Nan who never ceases to judge my tattoos and me grandad who only opens his mouth to take his vitamins,"

"Well, I'm sure you still love and miss them," It was more of a question than a statement, coming from Harry.

"Of course I do. They just aren't exactly my idea of a good time,"

"Well, it seems like you're stuck with me." Harry said with a happy smile.

"It certainly does,"

Harry closed his eyes and laid his head on Louis' shoulder. Louis combed his fingers through Harry's wild curly hair. He stared at the precious boy in admiration. His angel; the boy with amazing hair and perfect, pink, heart-shaped lips.

Louis missed the taste of Harry's lips. Ever since Harry told Louis he loved him two weeks ago, Harry didn't kiss Louis. Aggravated by this slightly, Louis once asked him why he wouldn't kiss him.

"I don't want to cross any boundaries. It's alright that you don't feel the same, but I don't want it to be awkward,"

Louis wouldn't mind awkwardness at this point. He was just desperate to feel the warm sensation that encased his entirety when Harry's lips were upon his. He missed the taste of Harry's chap-stick. He missed being so close that they could hear the beating of each other's hearts.

Contrariwise, and as awful as it made Louis feel, he was still incapable of expressing his love for the younger boy. If he even did love him. If love is even real.

"Harry?"

Harry hummed, "Yeah, Love?"

"What... What makes you think you're in love with me?" Louis questioned, a bit timidly.

"I don't think. I know,"

"Well, how do you know?"

Harry glanced up to meet Louis' eyes. "There's a whole bunch of reasons why I love you, but I know it's real when I look into your eyes. It's a feeling like no other. Like we're the other people on Earth,"

A small smile played across Louis' lips. "You're so cute,"

"What makes you ask?" Harry giggled, resting his head on Louis' shoulder again.

"Just curious..."

"You don't have to feel guilty for not loving me back, Lou," Harry told him with a smile. That beautiful, genuine smile that makes Louis feel better. "People fall in love at their own pace. And I know you don't even believe in it,"

I'm starting to, Louis thought.

_

Louis' birthday was nearing, followed by Christmas. Harry was particularly ecstatic about this time of the year. He went on and on about how he loves the hustle and bustle of the season, the bells that chime on every street corner, the massive feasts, the cheer, the love.

Louis basically ignored every word the boy was saying and watched his lips move. Louis was finding it difficult to not jump out at him, smash his lips onto Harry's, cram his tongue inside the other boy's mouth. He was craving his kiss more than anything.

It was eating him alive, inside and out. It was like taking the cocaine away from an addict. Harry was the sweetest drug, and Louis needs his dosage. He was getting desperate.

_

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you," Harry sang happily to the blushing Louis, who was unwillingly wearing a party cap on his head.

"Happy birthday to Lou! Make a wish,"

Louis shut his eyes and blew the candles out on the chocolate cake that Harry purchased before the roads shut down. They were sat on Louis' bed in their dorm with the cake on a coffee tables just before them.

Harry cheered then gave Louis a peck on the cheek, "Happy birthday, 20 year old. What'd you wish for?"

"A pony," Louis replied ironically as he traced his finger along the chocolatey icing, then licked his finger.

Harry laughed, "Did you really?"

Chuckling, Louis shook his head. "Have we got a knife?"

Harry nodded his head yes, then hopped up and ambled over to his desk. He picked up the ceramic knife and handed it to Louis. Louis began to slice the cake when he noticed Harry giggling at him. "What is it?"

"Oh, nothing,"

Louis gave Harry a glare of annoyance. "What are you laughing at?"

Harry pursed his lips together. "Your hat,"

"You made me put it on," Louis sighed, ripping it off.

Harry laughed loudly and smiled. "I was only joking, Lou! You looked cute,"

After the boys enjoyed their cake, Harry opted Louis to open his gift.

"You didn't have to give me anything," Louis told him.

"I wanted to. It's not every day my best mate turns 20," Harry grinned, and handed him the box, perfectly wrapped with festive paper. There was a tag that said, "To Lou, from Harry.xx".

Louis smiled to himself then teared into the wrapping paper. "Oh my gosh," Louis gasped when he pulled vinyls from his favorite punk-rock bands out of a box. "Harry! These are absolutely wicked,"

Harry grinned fondly. "I'm glad you like them,"

"I love them," Louis hugged the younger boy tightly. "Thank you,"

Harry reciprocated Louis' actions and hugged him tightly. "You're very welcome. Happy Birthday,"

Louis and Harry found themselves staring into each other's eyes once again. Louis flicked his eyes down to Harry's lips, then back again. He was going on a month without kissing Harry, and it was killing him slowly.

"You wanna know what I wished for, Harry?" Louis whispered, leaning into the taller lad slightly.

Harry stepped closer to Louis with a smirk on his lips, "What?"

"I wished that you would kiss me..." Louis bit a lip.

"Wish granted," Harry remarked before crashing his lips upon Louis' for the first time in what felt like forever.