Chapter 5: Farewell..or is it?

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After Rick had left with Negan, I stayed put a couple of minutes, glancing about the barren room. An hour or so ago, this room was full of character and life. Now all it had left was a couch, a bookshelf (including a couple picked over reads), and a scented candle. I picked the candle up in my hand, well thank goodness they left this, what would I do without, "Moonlight Glow." If only Sasha were here now, she would be absolutely enraged about how the room looked dead without the paintings. 

They were her favorite part of the house. She always told me she just liked the way that the images felt, how the one of a calm lake made her feel tranquil and at ease, while the painting of a sunrise over a meadow made her excited for the day and full of life. Personally, I think she liked the paintings because they made her feel like this was all a dream. That nothing was corrupt and destroyed and the whole world was as calm as that lake she adored in the picture. Maggie and I use to tease her for hours about her obsession with these paintings, but now that they were both gone and so were all our paintings, I missed our little moments like that even more. 

"Hey" Carl's voice interrupted my daydreaming, "You alright?" 

I took one last glance at the candle in my hand before dropping it back down on the windowsill.

"Yeah, Negan's nothing I couldn't handle. Just a little bit of conversation and a little bit of drinking," I sigh, thinking back on the chat Negan and I had.

"Well I'm glad you're okay," Carl sighed, "I don't trust that dick one bit, as soon as he walked off with you I went out to find my dad. I knew that would motivate his search for those guns."

I curiously glanced at him, wanting to ask what he meant by that. Why would Negan forcefully coming into my home motivate Rick to move faster? But opting against it since I didn't need Carl wondering if there was something going on between his dad and I.

"I appreciate the concern bud," I chuckle, placing an arm around him, "Did your dad actually find the guns?"

Carl nodded, "Found them in Spencer's house, but don't spread it around too much, dad's gonna confront him when he and Rosita get back."

Of course it was Spencer, he had always come across as a bit of a slimeball in my opinion. But my history with Spencer was a whole other story. 

"Now that Negan has his guns though, my guess is they'll be heading out pretty quick" Carl assumes, "you know, till we have to bear with them next time."

I let out a sigh, "Well you conquer one battle at a time bud, come on, let's go check on Judith."


As I held Judith in my arms, I surveyed the grounds from the window of her room. The Saviors were seemingly finished with loading our belongings onto their trucks, so now they were just hanging around, waiting for Negan's signal to move out. 

"My biggest fear is that they'll find Judith one day" Carl softly confesses, grasping a hold of her tiny little hand, "I can't even begin to imagine what Negan would do if he found her."

"I don't know if Negan is even monster enough to hurt an innocent baby" I sigh, pinching her chubby, rosy cheeks. But not even I could assure the safety of Judith, that's why she stayed very hidden while the Saviors were here. 

I wanted to believe there was a heart somewhere, deep, deep down in Negan's cold blooded chest. But who was to say there even was.

It was sad really, to recognize the fact that Judith was going to grow up in a world where everything was completely different than her brothers childhood experience. She would be instantly thrown into this world of kill or be killed, television would be just an unfathomable concept to her, she'd never get to go to a school one day and make new friends, instead she'd be constantly taunted by the fear her father or brother could die - leaving her all alone. It was sad really, but I suppose that's what happens to a child when they're born into the apocalypse, their entire world is flipped upside down right from the start. 

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