Chapter 30: Love Will Come & Love Will Go

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After leaving Negan with a well thought out plan freshly stirring in my mind, I returned to Alexandria. Upon my arrival, I took notice of Daryl sitting underneath a tree, cutting an apple with his pocket knife. Any other day I would go and sit by him and steal a piece of his apple from him, but today I didn't. I believe it was guilt building inside me from my recent interactions with the man that he hated. 

"Good to see the cripples up and walkin'," Daryl jokes as I walk past and I offer a simplistic laugh and a smirk, but keep on going rather than stopping to chat.

"Hey! Where you off to in such a rush?" he calls to me, noticing my odd actions.

I had to act normal, I had to pretend that just everything was fine.

"I uh- lost my uh -" I hesitate, fumbling over various objects in my head to lose, "My cat." As soon as the words leave my lips I instantly regret what I said recognizing the flaw being I didn't have a cat to begin with.

"Cat? You ain't got no damn cat" he points out, myself anxiously sweating at the fact he was questioning me. There's a moment of still silence between the two of us myself searching for words to say.

"Ha, yeah um, you got me there" I nervously chuckle.

Smooth Mia, smooth.

Daryl makes a face, "They still got you on some strong pain meds" he shakes his head, "Good luck finding your cat, whatever the hell that is."

I smile, offering a wave goodbye as I head off. Might as well roll with the whole crazy gal hyped up on medicine cover. But I avoided interaction with anyone as I found my way to Rick and Carl's house. Another time in life, I would head to my own house. But my house wasn't even a house anymore, not without Sasha. It was just another reminder of someone I had lost and I personally couldn't bear to step foot in there again. And it wasn't like Rick and Carl minded me living with them, well, up until last night that is.

The screen door was open, proof that someone had to be home. I found myself to be correct as I encountered Carl with Judith  at the kitchen table. He was handing Judith small pieces of fruit, trying to cox her into eating them.

"I know, canned pears aren't my favorite either, but you need to eat them so you're not fussy later" Carl insists trying to force feed Judith the limp fruit. My heart flipped in adoration of Carl and his big brother ways. What an angel. But as I watched, my heart also clenched in sadness. If I left them to live with Negan, I would never see these things again. These simplistic yet lovely scenes where Carl demonstrated his love for his little sister through actions. Right before my very eyes they were growing up, who knew when I would see something like this again if I left. 

"Hey, did you find dad yet?" Carl asks, noticing my presence. As I registered back to reality, I noticed how my eyes were filling with tears and I hadn't even realized. 

"Uh, no" I answer, feverishly blinking them away. I stepped into the kitchen, Judith taking notice of my presence, her big eyes widening in curiosity. 

"Hi baby" I coo, waving at her.

"Will you take her?" Carl asks me, "I need to go out and look for dad, I'm starting to worry."

I nod, after all, it was my fault Rick was gone in the first place. 

"Yeah no problem," I answer as he raises her up to me. My hands carefully grabbing hold under her chubby arms and balancing her on my hip. Her chubby fingers grasping hold of my face, finding entertainment with my lips evidently.

"I shouldn't be gone long, thanks Mia" he calls from the doorway as he throws the Sheriff hat onto his mop of hair.

"It's never a problem" I insist from where I stood bouncing Judith back and forth and he shoots me a heartfelt smile before exiting the house. 

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