Man with the Bat || a Negan novel

Chapter 38: The Thrill of it All

As I watched the sun sink beneath the trees, the soft glow of orange accentuating the dark silhouettes of the leaves, my mind fell to Negan.

I had to see a body to know he was truly taken from me, but just the thought made my heart lurch in my chest. The thought that perhaps he was truly gone. That I would never hear his gruff tone address me ever again. That the sound of his heartbeat as I laid my head on his chest was gone forever. The feel of his lips on mine and the smile that would follow shortly after, just as if it was never there in the first place.

As if he was just a figure of my imagination in this lonely, corrupt world.

Never existing in the first place.

"Mia?"

Hurriedly, I wiped the fallen tears from my eyes turning to look towards Carl.

"Hey honey, what's up?"

He had a questioning look on his face as he eyed me, "You alright?"

I nodded, "Yeah, fine, fine," I smiled a forced smile, until Carl tilted his head - then my smile broke. 

"Oh, Mia" He sighs, pushing himself out the window to come sit next to me on the brim of the roof. 

"We don't know if he's dead met Mi," he sighs, comfortingly patting my back.

I plant my face in my knees, "Oh what do you care? You hate the bastard as it is."

It's silent for a few moments as we sit, watching the sun sink lower and the night coming forth like an old friend.

"I don't hate him Mia."

My curiousity immediately peaked, tilting my head to view him as he looked straightforward. 

"I really don't. I hate the things he's done, I hate his mindset and the front he puts up," he explains, turning to look towards me now, "But I don't hate him because I know he can change."

I tilt my head, "You think so?"

His eyes crinkle up as a soft smile appears on his lips, "Mia, I know so. You should know so, he's completely proven it with you." 

I stare at him a bit dumbfoundly, as if I had never pieced the idea together that he truly did have the inner buildings to change when it came to a topic such as this. 

"I never thought he was able to treat anyone higher than himself, but ever since I've seen him with you, I know that he is capable. He treats you like a queen and he is able to love after all, which means he can change. He just needs the means to, and that means is you Mia."

I compassiantley smile at Carl, my heart filling with hope, only for my mind to remind me of one minor detail.

"We don't even know if he's alive.."I quietly trail off.

Carl slings his arm around me again, "I'm sure he is, he's Negan afterall, I really don't think that son of a bitch can die."

I burst out laugh, the hope returning and so does Carl.

And we sit there laughing and watching the sun disappear, everything feeling hopeful for the first moment in a while.

"Why're we going into the sewer?" I question Carl as he pulls the grate off the open hole.

"You'll see" he grunts as he slides it off to the side.

I gave him a questionable glance, but followed as he lowered himself down. 

The sewer wasn't exactly my favorite place to be but I knew that Carl had a method to his madness. And I was right.