I Always Want You

Chapter Five

Lena woke with a start, heart pounding. You're nothing, my poor little Lena. A voice hissed in her mind. You'll amount to nothing. It repeated over and over. Unlovable. It spat. Your own mother can't even bring herself to love you. Lena shook her head and tried to stop the tears from falling.

"Stop-" Lena whispered as the voice got louder. Stupid. Worthless. Useless. Lena slammed her eyes shut and tried everything in her power to stop the voice. Her brother's voice. Lex's voice.

She put her face in her hands and whimpered when a painful screeching sound filled her mind. After a full minute of silence passed, Lena let out a sigh of relief. She shakily wiped the sweat off her face and looked over at the clock next to her bed. 5am. Two hours until she was supposed to meet Kara.

Lena sucked in a steadying breath and sat up, waiting for the room to stop spinning around her. She swung her feet over the side of her bed and slowly stood up, using the posts on her bed to help her keep steady. She glanced at the other beds surrounding hers, empty and cold. Everyone had left for home the night before. Not that she cared much. Almost everyone on her floor was cruel and petty. The stone floor chilled her feet while she grabbed warm clothing out of her trunk for spending the day outside. While searching, her hand touched Lex's old quidditch sweater and she recoiled, quickly moving her hand away like it had burned her. The green and grey taunted her from within the trunk.

Lena angrily stared at the offending article of clothing, breathing in deeply. She slowly moved back towards the chest and grabbed a thick white sweater and comfortable jeans she had gotten over the summer, despite her mother's protests.

'You'll look like a muggle.' Mother said, looking at the items in Lena's hands with distaste.

'And what's wrong with that?' Lena said while raising her eyes to defiantly stare into her mother's eyes, completely devoid of any love towards her only daughter.

'Don't waste my time.' Mother snapped, turning away from Lena and walking out of the store.

Lena sighed and walked over to the counter, paying for the items, and slowly walking towards where her mother was standing impatiently.

That night had ended without a dinner, Lena remembered disdainfully. Lena rubbed at her eyes and slipped on the clothing, enjoying the warmth the sweater provided her. She quickly slipped on her boots, walked out of the large dorm room, and down the stairs towards the common room. She sat down on one of the sparse couches and stared up at the glass wall, separating the common room from the dark depths of the lake. A dwindling fire flickered in the corner of the room. Lena flicked her wand and renewed the flames. The room quickly warmed up, fogging up the glass a bit.

Lena sighed and closed her eyes, remembering the words Lex had whispered to her. Why. Lena wondered, frustrated. Why now? She got up off of the couch and paced the length of the room. She looked back at the glass and watched the dark forms slowly move in the water. Lena sighed and shook her head, knowing that she could never understand Lex's motivations. She slumped her shoulders and walked out of the Slytherin common room and made her way towards the Great Hall for breakfast. She wondered if breakfast was even served this early as she strolled through the dark and damp dungeons of Hogwarts.

Kara slowly woke, enjoying the way the sun warmed her body from the window that overlooked her bed. She stretched her limbs and reveled in the small pops her joints made when she moved. Kara took in a deep breath and squinted her eyes up at the ceiling, waiting for her eyes to become accustomed to the amount of light in her room.

Today was going to be a good day. Kara just felt it. And Kara was almost always right when it came to these sorts of things. She looked over at the clock on her bedside table. 6:50am.