In Between Myself And Lost

5~ ♥Dear Juice♥

   Nostalgia. What I was feeling now, seeping up from the pit of my stomach and up to my throat. Turning over in a bed I was rather familiar with, I was face to face with the man I craved to hate, the man I loved. Avery. Thoughts raced my mind. Maybe it would be for the best if I slid out the bed and slipped my clothes and shoes back on and ran out into the night. Ignoring the time we spent making passionate love. Maybe it would be best to listen to the little voice inside my head. But a pain engrossed my heart. I couldn't leave without a goodbye, couldn't worry him. For I loved him, I wanted him. No, I needed him. So I did the opposite of what my conscience told me, I wrapped my arms around him and went to sleep. 

   The sun played at my eyes, making me bring an arm up over them. But a hand was quick to clasp around my wrist and pull my arm down. A face appeared in my vision, making me blink rapidly. Avery. A grin plastered wide on his gorgeous face as he leaned down to kiss me. Starting at my forehead, until he reached my lips. Kissing me fervidly, placing my bottom lip into his mouth and tugging ever so lightly, then running his tongue along my lips, pleading for access and I was more than happy to oblige. Electricity ran through my body and immediately jolted me awake. Bringing a hand to his face and holding him over me. Blissful, intense. Forgetting I needed oxygen, but not caring either we stayed like that. When we pulled apart we both took a deep breath. My lips tingling, feeling swollen and bruised, a feeling I didn't want to rid. He smiled graciously at me while getting out of bed.

"I'm going to shower babe. When I'm done I'll make you some breakfast." I nodded, returning a small grin. 

    I heard the shower turn on a little while later and decided to stay in bed until he was finished. Reflecting on what happened just a few hours ago. Afterwards I wasn't able to fall asleep as quickly as him, instead my mind wandered. Making me overthink about us. It has been a year since we were last intimate but last night everything changed. Last night I became vulnerable to him again, using him to empty the sorrows of my heart. Letting my worries drift away as we became one again. Letting my guard down and my heart mend with every stroke. It was raw, real. I couldn't place if I made a mistake but in that moment I didn't care. In that moment it was just him and I, us, there was no room to think correctly. Without him I was nothing, I was just Asrael. With him I was everything, whole, and completed. 

    Hearing the bathroom door open my thoughts halted. Looking to my left I seen Avery standing in the doorway. A towel hanging low on his hips, my eyes traveled, taking in his lean and muscular frame. He smiled coolly at me before walking to my side of the bed. 

"Like what you see?" His voice velvety, sending cold shivers down my spine. My voice missing, I looked into his captivating crystal blue eyes, and swam in the ocean. He leaned in making me close my eyes as he kissed my lips softly. He broke away, walking to finish getting ready for the day. 

   Sometime later I had willed myself out the bed and showered. Stepping out, I looked myself over. The bags and dark circles from under my eyes have slowly started to disappear. My skin appeared to glow once more, my eyes no longer had a dullness to them. Feeling good about myself I got dressed in my form fitting knitted gray skirt, and navy blue crop top. Accessorizing with the gold locket my mother had gotten me when I was younger, some gold hoop earrings, and my navy blue high heels. Next I did my hair and makeup. Giving myself one final glance I smiled at my reflection and headed out the bathroom to the kitchen. 

    As I was about to sit at the island in the kitchen, Avery shook his head no and pointed toward the dining room table. Rolling my eyes playfully and giggling lightly I headed toward the table. "I'm almost finished babe." He hollered to me. With a sigh I decided to check my phone. As expected my father had messaged me letting me know he arrived in Chicago at five am. Noting that it was now ten in the morning I quickly responded letting him know I loved him and telling him to call me when he had the chance. Avery walked in as I was placing my phone to the side and smiled.