In Between Myself And Lost

12~♥Dear First♥

A coldness nips at my skin, slithering against my fragile frame as I sit across from Dr. Helbert. He has a notepad lying in his lap as he twirls a red pen in between his long bony fingers. I keep my eyes on the pen, watching as it dances carelessly in and out, twirling worry free.

"Asrael, are you ready to begin?" He speaks softly, almost as if he speaking to a child. Still I keep my eyes low, not bothering to respond. The pen suddenly comes to a halt, no longer dancing beautifully, it kisses the notepad paper he has lying in his lap. Flowing smoothly on the soft lines in front of it. Finally I take my eyes of the pen, looking at the doctor as he writes.

"What is it you're writing? I haven't said a word and still you have something to write about?" My voice matches my mood, angry. He sets the pen on top the notepad and gazes me over, like he was in deep thought. A sigh escapes his lips as he furrows his brows together, bringing his bony fingers to the bridge of his nose, causing his glasses to lift a bit.

"Asrael, we are here to talk about you. This assessment is not for my benefit, but for yours. If you think giving me some sort of childish like silent treatment is cause for me not assess you, you are deeply mistaken. I can do this with or without you speaking. You voicing your opinion, thoughts and emotions would be a big help to get the ball rolling on your recovery to health but if you do not wish to, I cannot make you. Now would you like to participate or continue in silence?" His voice was stern, I could hear a hint of frustration roll off his tongue.

"You cannot keep me here against my will. What is it, I have how many hours before I am able to release myself? So we can play this game, but it will come to an end soon doc. Now if you will be so kind as to let me go back to my room." A smirk sat upon my face as I looked at the shock expression that came over his face, but he was quick to compose himself.

"You are right, I can only hold you here for a short period until you're able to release yourself. It's state law. That's why I have a deal for you. Before we discuss it, I have talked it over with your father. He thinks it may work in both our favor. Would you like to hear it?" He said as he arched a brow, waiting for my response.

A few days ago I may have been surprised my father was discussing my stay at some crazy institution with an unknown doctor, but seeing the stunts he's been pulling it doesn't shock me. It only deepens the wounds, my own father has turned on me. Ignoring the pain I draw my attention back to the doctor.

"Go on doc."

"Like I stated previously this is a deal, a plan of sorts. We'll discuss the basics and go more in depth if it interest you. Okay?" He pauses and looks at me, I nod my head in agreement. "You are correct, by state law I cannot keep you here against your will. After seventy-two hours you are able to leave on your own terms. What I am proposing is we use those days as let's say a trial period."

"What do you mean?" I say raising a brow.

"A trial of sorts, you would participate in the group therapy, your own personal therapy, group activities. Basically what I am asking is that you give this place a chance, do not shun it just because it doesn't sound like something you need. It would require you to keep an open mind and develop an understanding, because even though you think it's wrong for you to be here, there are others who see it differently."

"So you're asking me to accept this? Just label myself crazy and give up fighting against your foolish claims? No, what did you think the answer would be?" I spat out bitterly, I looked him over. My anger just about boiling over the more I looked at him, dumbass.

"Asrael, why are you so angry? Either way you are here for seventy-two hours, I'm just giving you options. What else are you going to do? Sit in silence, mop around and watch the clock until your time is up? Or you can interact, that's all I'm asking of you, interact."