In Between Myself And Lost

9~ ♥Dear Soaring♥

Time went by preciously slow as I gazed toward the deep river that flowed just below my balcony. I jumped. Soaring through the air freely, no longer a caged bird. My body collided with the water, sending rough waves to lick wickedly at my exposed skin. I welcomed the cold chill it sent through my body causing goosebumps to spread and the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. I succumbed to the peaceful feeling it brought me and submerged deeper into the water. Acting as if it was natural, and I was just bathing. My hair floated around me, flowing with the waves, intertwining in a dance so majestic and breathtaking. I knew I would have to surface from the water soon, as the oxygen I held was running out but I didn't want to, I wanted to live in this moment forever. 

Suddenly I felt arms snake around my waist, causing me to inhale the water deeply into my lungs. When my head was just above the water I sucked in all the air I could while I continuously choked on water. My eyes started to blur from tears caused by the lack of oxygen. I couldn't breathe! I began to freak out, what was happening. A beautiful moment now ruined. I was laid on my back as someone pumped on my chest causing water to spew from my mouth. I couldn't clearly see who was helping me, but I could see the outline of their body. Finally all the water that was captured in my lungs was released and I inhaled. My throat burned and felt dry from all the coughing but finally, I could breathe again. 

Wiping the tears and water from my eyes I looked at the figure that was kneeling beside me, Castiel. 

"Wha-what are you doing here?" I said through struggled breaths.

"Are you mad? Why would you jump, do you know how dangerous that was Asi?" His voice sounded pained as his eyes filled with rage. 

"I don't know. At the moment it was perfect." I spoke quietly as I tried to lift myself from the ground. When I failed at my attempts he assisted me until I was sitting. I lifted my knees to rest under my chin and stared at the dirt filled ground. Digging my fingers into the dirt and letting it fall easily through my fingertips. Castiel gripped my hand before placing a hand on either side of my face, causing me to look deeply into his eyes. 

"Asi, are you okay?" His voice sincere and soft. I only nodded in response. I probably did look crazy jumping, but in that moment I hadn't cared. He still didn't answer my question. I shifted my eyes from his, looking anywhere but at him. 

"Cas, why are you here?" 

"You left your bag back at the coffee shop, I came here to bring it to you. Then suddenly I seen a woman jump from the third floor balcony. I didn't know it was you until I pulled you from the water." He paused, hurt evident in his eyes. "You scared me, I thought I was witnessing someone leap to their death. Did you have a death wish?" I shook my head no rapidly.

"Goodness no, I just. I don't know.." 

"You do know, tell me!" His voice was stern, and every time he demanded answers I grew angry.

"I don't owe you any explanation! So don't you dare come here demanding one. I was perfectly fine, then here you come 'rescuing' me! I wasn't trying to kill myself, I knew what I was doing. I wanted to be free Castiel. You wouldn't understand." I shouted as I rose to stand up. I went to walk away but he gripped my wrist, turning toward him he pulled me into his embrace. It was fueled by compassion, understanding. Despite our wet clothes it was enough to send a warmth of electricity through my veins. It was what I needed. 

"I'm sorry.. For whatever you're going through. I'm sorry for whoever was stupid enough to hurt you. I'm sorry you cannot see or do not want to see that I'm here. I'm sorry Asi." I sobbed into his chest as his words glided into my ear. "Let's get you back into your room and cleaned up."