the bangtan plants

013;

"it's time to feed my babies!"

yeon joo mixed a bucket of poop and water together, telling herself that it was too troublesome to give the plants separately so this was the short cut.

when she walked to the backyard, all of the bangtan plants seemingly were in a fight, except for jimin the spinach and hoseok the dandelion. well, it wasn't as if she expected them to join in the fight.

"no, this is blue and black!" taehyung the fern protested, as he used his upper right leaf to point at the thing that was in front of him.

"obviously it's white and gold. are you colour blind?" namjoon the nettle retorted back to taehyung the fern.

"bitch, it's hot pink and dark purple!" seokjin the thistle cut in, adding oil to fire.  yeon joo took a nearer look at the object, and realised that it was star shaped, somehow it seems that it was either a solid or a liquid.

she leaned closer towards the the object and wanted to take a pinch of it but namjoon the nettle stopped it by bending down and touching her hand.

"you can't touch it!"

yeon joo had a puzzled expression on her face as she stared at namjoon the nettle, "why?"

namjoon the nettle straightened its posture and took in oxygen through its stomata as he was preparing to talk.

"this," he used all of his leaves to point at the object. "is a sacred bamboo poop. the ancestors searched for the entire universe for this, but none could be found! this morning, jungkook pooped, and so far, there's only one bamboo poop in the whole universe! legend says that a bamboo poop must be displayed in a museum for appreciation, so that other people will be inspired and motivated to grow a bamboo plant and thus, the bamboo population will increase, and there will be more poops pooped by the bamboo! also, this is a golden poop. it's definitely once in a blue moon that you will see this."

"legend of the bamboo poop..." jimin the spinach trailed, while expressing agreement by rocking his body back and forth.

"isn't it green and black? this is green and black!" yeon joo exclaimed, pointing excitedly at the so called sacred object.

"it's transparent," jungkook the bamboo commented, but no one was listening to him. poor bamboo who spoke with no energy since it was all wasted on the golden bamboo poop.

"poopie, move!" hoseok the dandelion suddenly commanded out of nowhere with enthusiasm. "from now onwards you shall be my sacred dog!"

namjoon the nettle waved his leaves frantically, expressing a horrifying reaction towards the dandelion's words. "no, hoseok! this is not a dog, and you can't just claim it like that! i told you, it's a sacred poop."

"but i've always wanted a dog..." the dandelion curled up its leaves, as sadness hovered over it.

this was actually the first time yeon joo heard the dandelion speaking other than times when he need to, and her heart ached at hoseok's expression.

"namjoon, give it to hoseok!" she exclaimed, while pointing at the bamboo poop again. namjoon the nettle protested, and shot out of the soil instead.

"oh my god, you can walk?!" yeon joo screamed in surprise. namjoon the nettle secretly took the bamboo poop and hid it in the hole he came out from as his owner was still being pondering over his ability to walk.

"duh? i am not handicap or anything." he said, while rolling his leaves. yeon joo bobbed her head, while scratching her chin as if she was thinking hard.

"if so, namjoon, what is the chemical formula for bamboo poop?" she questioned again, as she stared hard at the nettle.

"according to biology, it has an enzyme to digest the bamboo poop. it is called the poopase. bile from the liver will emulsificate the poop before it is being digested by poopase. according to chemistry, the chemical formula for bamboo poop is SHUTAUP — sulfur, hydrogen, 2 molecules of uranium, tantalum, and phosphorus. according to physics, it is a large amount, so we use ten to the power of nine, a term called giga, to describe it."

yeon joo was mind blown, and hardly anything was being processed inside her brain like, what the hell is this shit?

"according to history, this started world war—"

"achoo!"

both namjoon and yeon joo felt something sticky landed on their face (or in the nettle's case, his stem). the thing was slowly gliding down their face/stem, until realisation dawned them that it was an object which was rainbow colour.

"what is this?" yeon joo questioned, as she wiped her face with her hand, "oh my god, isn't this—"

"oh shit."

"JEON JUNGKOOK!"

"WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING MY NAME!"

it turned out that the sacred poop was now gone, because yeon joo had accidentally sneezed a powerful sneeze which blown away the poop.

even the poop was mind blown.

"JUNGKOOK, I DEMAND YOU TO POOP AGAIN RIGHT NOW!"

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THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AT ALL OH MY GOD EVERYTHING HERE IS JUST PURE CRAP IM LAUGHING SO HARD

EVERYTHING WRITTEN HERE IS JUST PURE SHIT AND FICTION OMFG BECAUSE IT'S JUST MY IMAGINATION BUT SOMETIMES I DO USE FACTS, MOSTLY I USE CRAP FROM MY BRAIN

i don't even know how i thought of it like holy shit i am so amazed, and honestly this is what happens when your brain is full of science

since i am super stressed from school right now (i have a chemistry test tomorrow iM CRYING), i might take time to write this story and make a fool of myself!

thank you so much for reading this nonsensical book & i hope you will enjoy your day today ⛄