the bangtan plants

017;

SAY THE NAME

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"make em whistle like a thistle, bomb bomb," seokjin the thistle sassed, his sunglasses resting on his leaves.

"every time i show up, blow up uh!" yeon joo continued, whirling her head round and round, her hair making circles. jimin the spinach, being the hyper one, used his leaves to form several claps.

it was probably close to midnight, and yeon joo decided to have a mini party with her precious plants, because like, why not?

"i'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world!" yeon joo screamed, pumping her fist into the air. seokjin the thistle snickered, and flapped his fabulous leaves.

"yeah, you're fake! made of plastic!"

"no," yeon joo furrowed her eyebrows. "i'm made of cotton?" she was hesitant, but she pinched her cheeks and squeaked. "it's soft! i'm made of cotton!"

"cotton candy?" jungkook the bamboo questioned, suddenly curious in the topic. namjoon the nettle heaved a heavy sigh, like always, as he was 101% done with these idiots.

"no, DNA."

"what's that? dee ann aye?"

"never mind, it's useless to explain to you." namjoon the nettle face-palmed (or more like, stem-leaved) himself as he was feeling even more done with yeon joo.

yoongi the cactus suddenly awoke and groaned. "i'm hungry."

"yeah, all you do is sleep and eat, sleep and eat, sleep and eat!" seokjin the thistle commented, to which hoseok the dandelion lowkey agreed.

yeon joo was suddenly hyped again as she jumped up and down like a kangaroo. "oh!!!! i have a gift for all of you!!! i'm sure you guys will like it a lot!!"

and she ran back into her house.

jimin the spinach tilted to one side as he wondered what was the gift that yeon joo could be possibly talking about.

"what if it's a bomb?" namjoon the nettle inquired, suddenly afraid, knowing his owner's personality.

"bangtan bomb?" taehyung the fern injected. the other plants all shrugged their leaves and were highkey confused what he was talking about, but they didn't want to hurt the poor fern's feelings.

"i'm back!!!!!!"

and suddenly, the whole backyard was filled with an amazing, indescribable smell. the smell tickled the plants' stomata as they cheered in joy.

"holy yoongi, this is the nicest shit i've ever smelled in my whole life." namjoon the nettle broke the silence (there are many other things he can break, though) as he inhaled more of it.

"that's right my babies! it's the amazing smell of poop perfume, specially handmade by jung yeon joo, your beautiful owner!"

yeon joo stuck two tissues up into her nose holes to block the smell as she stood there, spraying the whole backyard with her specially handmade poop perfume. the bottle was even decorated with many poop emoji stickers which she probably found it in her drawer out of nowhere.

"i love life~~~" jimin the spinach twisted his body round and round as he danced to the smell of the love of his life.

meanwhile, next door, where human jeon jungkook and his dog lives, were about to faint because of the smell.

"what the fuck."

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i'm sorry— i think my humour juice expired