Red Hair, Black Soul (Red & Black #1)

39 | Six hundred miles

Jed's POV

I stare at my father's face through the distorted visage of the computer screen, grinding my teeth so hard together they hurt. My jaw muscles flex and release repeatedly and I wipe my hand across my lower face in an attempt to stop their motion. My knee is bouncing under the table, my bones itching to move. The clock on the kitchen wall keeps ticking, counting down seconds of silence.

"Do you understand, Jed?" Dad repeats his question, the expression on his face serious. His eyes - light gray, so unlike mine, - are iced over, giving him this all-business look I hate so much. 

"Yes." I force the word out, nearly drawling it through clenched teeth. It physically hurts to speak those three letters, to bow my chin in a single nod. 

"You know your mother comes first. This is what we've all agreed upon."

"So you think that moving her to a big city will improve her health?" I challenge.

"I think there are more possibilities for her here than in Ann Arbor." Dad calmly replies.

"And what about her?" I ask, careful not to raise my voice. "What's Mom's opinion on it?"

"She will be happy for us to finally be together." he says. "You know how she doesn't like the separation. This can't be good for her."

"And moving six hundred miles to live in a city ten times bigger will be good for her?" 

"I can't be the one to leave. I just got promoted. Which means I have to stay and need to be close to my workplace. We don't have a branch anywhere near home, and the headquarters are here."

"It's  a huge city. Dirty. Dangerous. Mom loves provinces. She'll suffocate there." I argue. 

"Don't forget Mom's parents are from around here. She grew up in a big city."

"And that's why she wanted to leave it and never come back." I say, recalling all the times Mom told me and Daylen how wonderful life in a town like Ann Arbor was in comparison to a huge metropolis. "You can't possibly make her go back to a place she hates so much."

"Jed, please." Dad looks as if an invisible weight was crushing down on his shoulders. Taking off his glasses, he rubs the space between his eyes. "Don't speak about things you don't understand."

The anger inside of me blazes, threatening to boil the blood in my veins. "You're right." I say, trying to keep my voice in check. Mom's upstairs and I don't want her to hear me yelling. "I don't understand why you want to make Mom miserable by moving her somewhere she hates. I don't understand this at all."

"What she hates more is the fact that she can't touch her own husband or that the only way her children can see their father is over a damn screen." Dad's anger raises to match my own and the muscle in his jaw begins to tick like it does whenever he's about to burst. 

"Daylen and I are no longer children. We understand you're not there for vacation." I know how my brother hates it when somebody speaks on his behalf but since he's not here, I can't really ask him for his opinion. "Besides you visit us whenever you can. We're not blaming you for anything."

"But I am blaming myself." There's an edge to his words, an exasperation mixed with an ultimate sadness I rarely hear from him. "That's what you don't understand, Jed. I am your father. Your mother's husband. Being here, so far away from you, is killing me."

Dad's voice breaks on the last part. My brows pull in together. I'm not used to my father showing any signs of weakness. With his anger, I can deal. Seeing his grief... this is not something I'm familiar with.