When An Accident Prone No One Marries A Celebrity There Will Be Chaos...

Chapter 21

Sorting out Georgie’s life – things that need to be done:

*Get Ollie to agree to hand over £15,000 from out money – DONE

*Transfer money to Georgie’s account – DONE

*Stop worrying about Georgie running off and spending the money on shoes or something stupid like that – well erm… ALMOST DONE… I do have a few doubts though…

*Get Chelsea to cast an eye over Georgie’s business plan – DONE

*Get Georgie to actually listen to Chelsea’s changes – HARDEST THING I’VE EVER TRIED TO DO IN MY LIFE BUT DONE

*Get a few of Chelsea’s celebrity clients to support the business – DONE

*Replace designer handbag I had to bribe a celebrity who I promised would remain nameless to agree to support business – BLOODY THING HAS GONE OUT OF STOCK

*Get own life back – I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY

 Result: One blossoming business, one very happy Georgie and one exhausted Izzie. In fact I barely have the energy to wirte thesse wrods… did I fall asleep when writing again? I really should get more sleep, not that I don’t allow plenty of time for sleep I just can never seem to drift off. Too much stress has left my mind incapable of shutting down.

I wonder if any bride to be has pulled off a stress-free run up to their wedding successfully. Or is a calm and collected bride to be a fantasy creature who has been deluding us stressed out, panic stricken, hysteria ridden soon to be brides for generations now. I suppose it must be quite a laugh for a wife to watch a deluded newly engaged fool to declare herself a ‘stress-free bride’ and then watch them slowly fall to pieces before their eyes as they descend into a wobbly, crying and screaming emotional wreck. In fact it’s probably just a myth created by some bright spark to preserve the future of the human race by making sure they don’t run away from the idea of getting married screaming in terror. I suppose it’s a lot like the whole ‘carrots help you see much better in the dark’ myth parents tell gullible children. Well, just in case you are a person planning on getting married soon, not to put you off or anything, but if you imagine yourself spending the run up to your wedding in a blur of happiness staring blissfully into your future partners eyes then I would rethink that image. You could replace it with one of you sobbing over your cream invitation with a gold border and not the white invitation with the gold border while your bewildered fiancé struggles in vain to work out what on earth is wrong with you and whether or not you will be requiring professional help.

Most brides have to worry about silly inconsequential things such as flowers and invitations. I don’t have to worry about flowers, (which last I heard were going to be origami paper flowers,) or invitations, (which were delivered as a message on a DVD which caused issues when they worked out that my Gran doesn’t have a DVD player,) as I know whatever the outcome of whatever is going on will be a disaster. There is only so much worrying one person can do and I am worried-out so to speak. I have come to terms with the fact that my wedding will be a complete and utter embarrassment so I have no expectations to be spoiled. In short Cora can do whatever she bloody well likes with my wedding and I couldn’t care less as long as I walk out of that stupid ceremony with a husband on my arm. Therefore I don’t care if the pink of my flower bouquet is not the exact shade of dusty rose I had chosen as a colour scheme (actually I do believe my bouquet will be a fetching shade of metallic silver.) However, while I am saved from worrying about little details like that I have instead got to worry about other issues such as ‘I wonder if my fiancé’s malicious ex will speak now or forever hold her peace,’ which in my opinion, call me conceited if you must, is a much bigger cause for concern rather than rose blush vs. dusty rose.