Don't Fucking Ask

I cant hide anymore. This is for you. You know who you are.

I know, what most of you must be thinking. "She's a slut!!" "She's a whore, what the hell does she know about love!?" Well... I'm fine with that. But I'm not a whore. Call me whatever you want. But I'm not a whore.

The truth is... There was this... "special someone"..... in my life. They were always there for me.

Well, things didn't work out, and we broke up. This *special someone*, was no longer there to turn to when I needed them. I fell into even more of a depression. I tried committing suicide. My friends yelled at me and told the counselor, and when they found out, they cussed her out and did a whole bunch of overboard shit. And if they know that I want them back, they will get the same way and get angry with me, they said they dont want me to date anyone because they don't want me hurt. My bestie said that if I cut, she would cut. If I didn't eat, she wouldn't eat either. So I had to hide this side in front of her, the side that hated herself so much, the side that didn't have that *special someone* to help her, to get her out of this depression.

I don't know how to live with myself, with the guilt, the pain. The pain Ive caused others... 

This *special someone*, if you are reading, I love you. And I want you back.