Don't Fucking Ask

Weird things I've done

Just to make anyone out there who's awkward like me feel a little better about themselves, here goes nothing

So I think we all know by now about my middle-of-the-class fangirl attacks, but when One Direction comes on, my eyes get teary and I put my head down trying not to make it noticeable I was starting to cry. Hey, it was just that time of the month, okay? I had an excuse to be emotionally uncontrollable at the time.

Another thing, this guy, who turned out to try to fuck my best friend and ended up pissing me off more than anything (he wouldn't leave her alone), tried to get with me next. Okay, I'm use to creepos, but... Ugh, not someone who fucks around with my best friend. So........ What do I do, I message him on Facebook: 

"You know... I have a thing for blonds 

Too bad it ain't you. *blocks him*"

He wasn't too happy. Then that guy and I started talking again (earlier) and I wrote a note to him after I found out he had flipped off my best friend:

Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I don't like you...

I still hate you the same :) ~Madison xx

 >vvO Bye bitch.

I like fucking around with guys, believe it or not, it's true. So what did I do when I had my friend over and we were enjoying a little drink? Mess around with this guy that messaged me in the middle of no where.

I decided that the best way to show this guy I liked him was to comment "Hawt" on his selfie. Well, he goes "Who is this" 

Here's what I respond after my friend and I get drunk (I have the DMs on Instagram to prove it):

Me: *sends a picture of a goat* I want you to make me feel, like I'm the only goat in the world.

Him: Wtf? Who is this?

Me: I am your father.

Him: What?? I'm gonna block you if you don't stop.

Me: *a little later* Hey sorry about that that was my friend (reality check: No it wasn't :D)

Him: Oh sorry you're hot sorry 

Him: Selfie?

Me: Sure

(I had to find the image on the internet)

Me: Sorry wrong image *sends a real selfie*

Him: Send (I think you guys can fill in the rest*

Me: *sends a picture of a cat*

Him: Haha not that XXXXX yours

Me: ({})

Him: Haha want me to go first?

Me: Yeah

Him: *sends a DP* (guys that wasn't even a dick... If anything it was a deformed banana, a long one, but deformed)

Me: Oh you're so big baby

Him: Send a t/tty pic

Me: After my shower ;) 

Him: Hurry up

Me: SCRUB A DUB DUB 

Me: SCRUB A DUB DUBBBBB

Me: SCRUBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Me: *gets friend to film me dancing around like a caveman and making a slurping noise*

Him: What's the video it won't play

Me: Oh sorry *takes another video of me running in the game room raising my shirt and screaming SO WE'LL PISS OFF THE NEIGHBORS kind of like Niall yelling YOLO:

The catch is, I wasn't really coordinated, I had too much drink :/ so I stumbled and fell down and my friend was laughing like a mule and of course my face is in it and he's seen me in school...

So he doesn't respond but it shows he read it.

And when I go to school the next day he gives me the strangest look and I flip him off

Amen.