Dear Josh,
Today has been rough.
Your family visited this evening, and mine as well. Just like they did yesterday evening.
It's so hard when they visit, Josh.
Every time I think I'm doing a little better, I see them falling apart the second they see you laying here.
And then I fall apart all over again.
I'm glad you're doing okay, though. The doctor said that you had another good day. Which is very positive.
I'm scared that they're gonna send me away, Josh. It's almost been a week and I'm still with you. What if they send me home? If they send me home, I can only be with you two times a day for two or maybe three hours each time.
I can't handle that.
I can't handle being home either.
The house is too quiet without you. You filled it with happiness, laughter.
You filled it with love.
You made it home, Josh. You're my home. Our house isn't home without you.
I'm here at home with you, in the hospital. And they are gonna send me away from home one day. They're gonna send me to this strange, cold house I once used to call home.
I can't do this without you. And I know I keep telling you that, but it's true.
Our siblings are growing closer each day.
Madison hugs Ashley and Abigail every time they cry because they miss their big brother.
Zack always runs his hand through Jordan's hair as he cries, and Jay pats his back.
Our mommies hug each other constantly when they cry. Our daddies rub each other's backs when it gets too much.
I don't do anything.
When I get sad, I crawl in bed next to you, with my head on your chest, and I just cry.
They don't try to touch me either. They know I can't handle that.
I can only handle you.
Every time I hug you, I calm down. Even though you're asleep, you still take care of me. How do you even do that?!
You're the best husband ever, Josh.
I can't wait to be with you again.
Hold on, I'm gonna kiss your lips.
...they're still as soft as ever. A little dry and broken, but soft.
For the rest of the night, I think I'm just gonna lay next to you and run my hand through your hair, like you always begged me to do, until I fall asleep at 4:30 am again.
Today I sang you a song called So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold. Another sad song about someone who died.
But you're not dead.
Not yet.
Stay alive for me, Josh.
Please,
Your Love.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Josh. (a Joshler fanfic) ✔️
Fanfiction"Dear Josh, I started this blog because I want to write you letters so that I can cope with this. I could write you actual letters and give them to you, but you wouldn't be able to read them anyways. So now I'm gonna post them here, and read every...
