Dear Josh,
Yesterday I went to visit you with Colin, Jesse, Sailor and Clover. We were with you from three to eight pm. Even the kids stayed the whole time in that godawful hospital for me.
They're such blessings.
The nurses told me something that gave me all kinds of feelings; sad and happy.
They said you'd been... Restless, which started an hour after I left. You didn't move or anything, but your breathing became shorter and your heart beat faster. They tried to calm you down, but you only really calmed down when I got there.
...Do you know when I'm there, Josh?
Can you hear me when I talk to you and can you feel my hugs and when I hold your hands?
The nurses told me that you might hear me on day two or three already, but I didn't want to believe it because it would only get my hopes up, and I don't want to have any false hope 'cause maybe it wasn't true.
But this... This changes it a bit.
Or it was just pure coincidence, but the nurses don't believe so. 'Cause now I'm in bed with you, while I write this, and the Rigsby's are with me again.
The nurse told me the same thing happened today.
And it makes me happy because... Maybe you hear me. Maybe you feel my touch. Maybe you remember me.
But it makes me sad as well, because I have to leave you in four and a half hours again, and I don't want you to get restless again.
In general I just don't want to leave, but I'm not allowed to stay the night anymore.
What if it happens again tomorrow? I'm not sure if I can handle that. I can't stay away if you need me, love.
I love you so much, Joshie.
Today I'm gonna sing Dance In The Dark by Lady Gaga for you. We always loved that song, didn't we? We should keep loving each other. How does that sound, baby? If you like the idea, then I will love you forever.
I will love you forever anyways, even though you hate the idea.
All the kisses,
Your Love.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Josh. (a Joshler fanfic) ✔️
Fanfiction"Dear Josh, I started this blog because I want to write you letters so that I can cope with this. I could write you actual letters and give them to you, but you wouldn't be able to read them anyways. So now I'm gonna post them here, and read every...
