My Step-Brother's Baby

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I felt a slight breeze on my face, which caused me to awaken. I didn't even notice that I fell asleep underneath the tree. It was about midday, as the sun was at its highest. The weather was warm and there was no one by the river, accept those who were canoeing. It was a peaceful day, and because of today's peace I felt at ease. I wish I felt like this all the time; calm and relaxed.

"In science I learnt that at three months the baby is formed properly with is limbs and organs. Maybe I left it too late to abort you. Also, I'm starting to have doubts about the whole suicidal thing. However, maybe I'll give birth in a private location or a hospital out of town. I'll then give you away to a better family. To someone who is wanting a baby and would be a better parent than I to you," I sighed, rubbing my small baby bump. This is ridiculous, I am ridiculous! I can't actually be pregnant, though I can, but I don't feel pregnant. It's as if it's all an illusion or a dream.

I stood up, dusted myself and walked further down the river. I was heading out of town, into an unfamiliar city. It could be dangerous, but I've decided not to care about anything anymore. No one cares about me
so I shouldn't care for anyone else.Wrong, pettiness isn't the way but oh well I don't care remember.

Ugh! I'm frustrated again. I'm suddenly hungry. I feel so... ugh! At times I fell calm and refreshed, but moments later I want to hang myself. Oh gosh I need help! But then I don't want help, I just want that one person. That one person I can cuddle, fight for, chat rubbish to, cry to, love and cherish. I want that person who can support me all the way. A kind mother, a good best friend, another family member.. . All the things I'm lacking in life.

I walked on for hours before I came across a chicken and chip takeout. I went in and ordered chicken and chips with a mango drink. I paid with the money in my purse before making my way again.

I walked for several more miles until I found another nice spot beside the river. I stayed there all afternoon until the sun began to set. My plan to run away was a little pathetic. I had no chance of survival throughout the night, though at that moment of time I wanted to die. Right now I've lost the courage to bare the night out here alone. I know it will take me a while to get back, especially because I don't know where I am, but I'm good at memorising landmarks.

Several hours passed before I reached back to my hometown. It was pitch black and cold, as expected. I wore a few jumpers underneath my coat.
The more closer I was to the house, the more stress sat on my shoulders. I started to have heavy doubts of returning, but I knew I needed to go back.

On the way I noticed a lot of police patrolling the area. It worried me a little, because the first thing I thought was gang bangs and all that. Oh well, I hope whatever happens is resolved and dealt with. Right now though I'm thinking about my hygiene, food and sleep. That's all I desire right now.
...
As soon as I unlocked the front door something seemed odd. I ignored this peculiar feeling and headed towards the kitchen. As I entered the kitchen I was taken aback when I saw two police men, my mother's tear-stained face on Remy's chest. Remy looking vexed, along with Raphael. The only difference was, Raphael looked somewhat glum and pale.

In a split second everyone's voice was highly raised to the point that I couldn't hear a word that each person was saying. The only person who wasn't actually speaking was Raphael, though he gave me the coldest and most intimidating stare. Gosh, what have I done. This is why I shouldn't of come back. I'm always causing distress.

All of a sudden I heard a loud SLAP, which shortly followed with a sting on my cheek. The room filled with silence. I didn't cry out, in fact I didn't respond at all. I just looked up at my mother to see tears run continuously down her face. Why the hell is she crying. She then pulled me into a hug, which I didn't respond to. I couldn't hug her back and I don't know why, I was confused that's why.