The Pharaoah's Lover | J.B

13

-morning-
-Julia-

I freshened myself this morning, letting the water slide down my body and ridding me of my negative thoughts. I wanted to forget about what happened between me and Justin last night. I wanted to pretend as if he did not break my heart and make me shed tears.

I decided to stop my long bathing and prepare for the day. My mind became so consumed with this man that it was making me mad.

I began to wonder , and I began to think. Think of what has gotten into my husband. Did he not love me anymore?

No, that could not be it. I had given him my body the night he said he loved me. He should love me still. I believe he loves me. Justin told me he is a man of his word.

But why has he become so cold towards me?

I grew worried. Worried that he would tell me he wouldn't make me his wife, worried that he would go back to Egypt and leave me lonely once again. I love this man, but he made me doubt his love for me. I wish I could sit down with him and talk to him about his behavior. I wish I could tell him how cd he's been treating me. I wish he could let me in his mind.

But I was afraid. I was afraid he would push me further away and grow upset at my persistence. I was afraid he would leave.

But I desperately needed to know. I needed to know where his heart is.

I do not not how long he's been turning his back to me. He doesn't look at me anymore, he doesn't tell me he loves me, he will not step out of our hut with me, he will not eat the food I prepare for him sometimes, he would turn hid back against me in bed, he will not touch me...

I barely see him anymore.

I would close my eyes in bed and silently cry, not wanting to make him upset and make him distance himself away more.

What did I do?

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"Julia, you look as if you are upset." Fatimah's voice brought me out of my saddened thoughts as I planted a seed in the fertile ground.

"I am well." I told her, no emotion in my voice. It was a simple reply.

She grew silent. It was if she did not believe my words. My eyes were not in her direction, but I knew she looked at me with concern and curiosity. "Where is your husband?" Fatima he asked me. Her referring to Justin as my husband made my heart sink into my stomach.
For, he didn't even treat me like I was his wife. We became two strangers living together.

Or, that is how I felt.

Even with his behavior that saddened me, I could not help the feeling of my heart pounding hard against my breasts when I felt his presence or when I looked at his handsome face. Even when he'd avoid my eye contact, I still loved him the same.

Was it possible to be in love and feel heart ache at the same time?

"Julia, answer me."

I shook my head, regaining my senses.
"I am not sure...I have not seen him since this morning." I told her Averting my eyes back on the rows of seeds I planted. Looking at it, I was in shock of what I had done without being aware. My hands guided me while I was not thinking right.

"Did something happen be-" I stopped her from continuing, not wanting her to know anything. "No, he is..I don't know what he is thinking." But I said something that gave everything away. I meant to tell her we were doing well, but somehow my lips escaped words that were buried deep into the back of my head. Something, I kept thinking everyday.

"Oh, that is a surprise to me. Everything was well when you spoke to me some days before."

I shook my head once again.  "...But after we had talked, when I came back to my hut, he seemed distant. He didn't even look at me." I remembered that day clear. I continued to relive that day, trying to find out where I went wrong.

Fatimah gave me a warm smile. "It seems as if he is having trouble with himself then. It is not you that is the problem."

"No Fatimah, I feel it is something that I did." I told her, my eyebrows knitting together. "My dear, can you think of any ways you wronged him?" She asked me.

After a long quietness, I shook my head, but being able to remember what I did. "Then why blame yourself?"

"Maybe I was gone too long...I took too long to come home." I said. Maybe that is why.
Fatimah scoffed at me. As if I was being foolish. "You think he is acting in such a way because you were aiding me?"

My heart began to slowly break. I thought I had found the answer, but I knew I was far from it. I wanted to cry. I needed to release these tears.
"I am afraid." I said, I felt my throats getting right as I whispered those words.

"Afraid of what?" Fatimah rested her hand on my back. "I am afraid he does not love me anymore." I said. The tears freely slipped, no matter how hard I fought to keep them in. I didn't want to show Fatimah my weakness. I did not want her to see me like this.

"My daughter..." Fatimah said shaking her head as she looked at me sincere. "Stop crying. Please do not think like this."

I shook my head. My voice continued to crack as I spoke. "He...h-he is being so cold to m-me." I shut my eyes right.
"Men do not lose feelings over such petty matters."  Fatimah told me in a scolding tone.

"Then what could it be?" I cried.
"You must ask him."
"He will not tell me what is bothering him."
"If you want to know my dear, you must be patient."

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This chapter was meant to be short. As you all can see, Justin means a lot to Julia. I almost cried writing this 😭 like I actually felt her heartbreak wow.

But I just wanted you all to see what julia has been thinking and going through, since the last time I updated. Next update coming very soon people ;)

Do you think Justin has fallen out of love with her, afraid to commit, or just avoiding telling her the truth?