The Band Whore Diaries

11/2/17

Now that I have hopefully gotten my point across to Danny yesterday, I finally feel like I can move on.

If anything, I hope Danny won't think that I'm always going to be a sexual option to him anymore.

Of course, after all of this, I still won't give up on the band and change my mind and turn around and start selling for Pierce the Veil.

At least not at this tour, anyway.

Truthfully speaking, I don't see myself really becoming anything with Ben, either.

There's just too many liabilities and I don't think I can trust Ben completely.

Sadly, I don't exactly see myself getting too close for comfort with any member of Asking Alexandria, for that matter.

I'm sure you're tired of reading about their bullshit, and I honestly don't blame you.

At least you don't have to live with this shit.

Of course, I really don't know where things are going to go from here with anyone, so there's really no telling where things are going to end up from here on out.

I'm not really sure if this is just an impulse, or if I really realized how toxic Asking Alexandria is, but I think I just need to distance myself from them completely.

Of course, that's pretty difficult, considering that I work for them.

And I literally live two feet away from them, thanks to Danny's shitty park job.

As for now, I'll continue to work for Asking Alexandria until Blood Spatter and Cake Batter is over with.

But until then, I have to put up or shut up, and I would really like a fucking pay check, so I will choose to put up with their bullshit.

Meanwhile, I had spent another night alone, feeling strange that I didn't have to share a bed with anyone last night.

I had merch duty today, and I'm sure Danny will take this opportunity to want to start shit with me, and I'm not going to let him.

He's still pissed at me for sleeping with Ben, when in fact, Danny should be just as pissed at Ben as he was at me.

Was he?

Of course not.

In Danny's mind, I will always be the main target of every issue from here on out, which is pretty fucked up.

And that's exactly why I've finally had enough, and I'm just not going along with it anymore.

As soon as I set foot from my bus, Ben had been standing outside of my door, prepared to invite himself in at that exact moment.

"We need to talk," he insinuated, gently pushing me back inside my bus, and shutting the door behind him.

"What? Are you upset that you hurt Danny's feelings?" I asked in a baby voice, mocking Danny's sensitivity.

"Fuck no. I'm pissed off that he won't let this go," he corrected me, jabbing a finger toward his bus.

"Danny never lets anything go, Ben. Get used to it," I snapped, attempting to shove past him.

"I know that, Kota," he replied, copying my frustrated tone, "which is why I have to come stay here with you."

I stared at Ben with an unamused expression, unable to say another word.

Is he fucking serious?

Ben fucked up as much as I did.

Now, he wants to run from his problems, and slide his ass into my bus, thinking he's just going to escape it all.