The Band Whore Diaries

11/8/17

I woke up to the sound of someone repeatedly banging their grubby fist against my crooked door frame.

Immediately, I flew out of bed in a fit of rage, wondering why the fuck these people can't leave me alone.

I yanked my door open, revealing Danny standing on my doorstep, struggling to hold two cups of coffee in one hand, while a cigarette was jammed between his teeth.

"Take it. My fucking hand is burning," he commanded, shoving a cup toward me.

"I didn't expect you to bring me coffee, Danny," I blushed, stepping aside so he could come in.

"Well, I didn't expect you to take so long to answer the fucking door," he grumbled, walking over to my sink, and running cold water on his hand.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't awake," I insisted, flopping down on my couch, removing the lid from my cup.

"I guess not," he snickered, sitting next to me, pulling my ash tray over.

"So, what brings you here at such an early hour?" I asked innocently, deciding to join Danny for a cigarette.

"I've noticed you've been kind of distant lately. Has everything been okay with you?" he inquired sincerely, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

"I've had a lot on my mind, that's all," I semi-lied, staring down into my coffee, avoiding his eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered.

As much as I had on my plate, I couldn't exactly bring myself to talk about any of the shit I got myself involved in.

I couldn't tell Danny that I may or may not have something cooking with Vic on the side, not to mention that I aimlessly fucked his brother out of nonsensical stupidity.

Or, the fact that I fucked the god damn tour manager to keep this tour alive, and we both were able to blackmail each other because of it.

Then again, I had to get something off my chest.

I decided to just tell him about Skylar, because I'm sure he'll be twice as pissed off if he finds out on his own, anyway.

"I did something I probably shouldn't have," I gulped, too ashamed to look at him.

"What did you do?" he asked softly, watching me with curious eyes.

"I'm sure you're wondering how I successfully changed Skylar's mind, aren't you?" I called him out.

"It's crossed my mind a few times," he shrugged.

"I fucking slept with him, Danny. Do you know how disgusted I am with myself? Now, I can't fucking get rid of him," I sobbed.

He was silent for a while, which sent my nerves into shock.

"We're not committed to each other right now. You can do what you want, Kota. It's taken me this long to come to terms with that," he explained.

"But I feel like I'm obligated to be committed to you, Danny," I blurted.

"What do you mean by that?" he questioned me, suddenly intrigued.

"Even though we haven't dated all of the years we've known each other, we still spent a lot of time together. I feel like if I found someone, I'd still want you," I confessed.

"I kind of feel the same way," he admitted.

"We've been through so much, I feel like we can withstand anything at this point. I don't know if I can move on," I continued.