The 100 Academy

Chapter 19

Just the usual, thanks for reading! Please vote and comment!

-Syd

Anya

That was it. I had had it. I would no longer let Lexa be anyone else's except mine, all mine. Lexa had just been so obviously flirting with Raven, who just flirted right back. As I heard Lexa give pickup line after pickup line, Raven would smile and say something witty right back.

And while all this was happening, I just stood off to the side, listening to every single word that was said, looking at every single flirtatious glance, seeing every blush. I rolled my eyes, feeling disgusted at the sight of the two of them.

After what seemed like hours, Raven finally ended the conversation.

"I have to go work on a technical problem up in the computer lab, but I'll see you later." Raven waved, smirking at Lexa. Lexa smiled back, her green eyes bright and happy. But I was the one that was supposed to make her look like that. As Raven walked away, up the stairs and out of sight, I found enough anger in my gut to walk up to Lexa. I tapped Lexa on the shoulder, waiting for her to turn around. When she did, she smiled.

"Hey, Anya." she said, her eyes still sparkling from her time with Raven. At that exact moment, the beams of light from the window flashed on her, her brunette hair turning gold and her face turning a lighter tan instead of her medium one.

"Hi, Lexa. Can we talk?" Lexa nodded, staying exactly where she was, not moving an inch. Lexa raised an eyebrow at me, as if waiting for me to start talking. "In private?" She arched her eyebrow in surprise.

I walked away, through the dorm hallway. Lexa followed me, her shoes echoing against the floor. We walked in silence, each footstep seeming to make me angrier and angrier. My heart pounded, thinking about Lexa, then Raven. Raven, the small Hispanic engineer with the fiery spirit and short temper. She reminded me of a fuse, or dynamite. Even the smallest spark would set her off her rails. Lexa was the opposite of her, level-headed and calm, which is why they would never work out. Lexa needed someone like me, smart and kind and gentle, not someone rough and fiery like Raven.

After a minute or so, we reached my dorm. I opened the door and let her in first, holding the door open, because that's just how much of a lady I was. When Lexa was all the way in and sitting on my bed, I closed the door behind me, suddenly nervous with what I was about to say.

"What's up, Anya?" Lexa asked, her voice almost bored. I saw her chest move up and down with each breath, her hands move carelessly to her lap, relaxed and waiting.

"I need to talk about something serious with you." I said, my eyes zoning in on her, trying not to stray anywhere else. Lexa nodded her approval, as if she were changing the positions here and now she was in charge of the direction of the conversation. I continued.

"You need to stop hanging out with Skaikru." I said, my lips set in a thin line. Lexa looked confused, raising both of her perfect eyebrows this time.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice not giving away anything.

"I mean what I just said-"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Lexa had a spark of anger in her eyes, one that I couldn't believe I had caused.

"No, but I'm trying to do what's best for you. Ever since Costia and you broke apart a few months back, you haven't opened your heart to anybody. Except them." I spat the last part, hearing the bitterness in my own voice as the words left my mouth.

"Yeah, cause they're the greatest people in the world. They make me a better person." Lexa's face was still, only her eyebrows moving. Her eyes had their usual coldness to them, the same coldness that had appeared after Costia had left.

"You've only known them for a month or so!" I argued, enraged. I had always been there for her and now she's acting as if the Skaikru people are the only ones that exist.

"Which is why they are so special. I feel comfortable around them after only a month when it took so much longer to get comfortable with anyone else." Lexa wasn't going to back down, but I knew I wasn't going to either.

"Special? They're not special. That annoying girl, Octavia, who acts as if she were a Grounder, her brother Bellamy, who only wants to kiss Clarke all the time. And don't even get me started on Clarke!"

"What's wrong with Clarke?" Lexa asked, her voice rising.

"Don't think I didn't catch those stares from the first few days we got here. You were all over that little barbie doll!" My eyes were full of fire now, my insides in the same state. Lexa would not get away with any of this.

"I never was attracted to Clarke! And what about Lincoln? I don't see you getting mad at him." Lexa declared, her nostrils flaring.

"Because he's not in love with you!" I blurted out, not thinking over my words. I felt blood suddenly come up to my face as soon as I had registered what I had said. Oh, god, it was out. My precious secret that I had kept for months was now out. Lexa looked at me incredulously, not believing what I was saying. "And now your with that little Hispanic engineer that is so wrong for you! She will hurt you so bad, you just haven't realized it. But I, I would treat you amazingly. It should be me who is blushing at your pick-up lines, giving and receiving those stares from you." I could tell my voice was dropping, becoming softer and softer until it was barely a whisper above the blanket of silence enclosing the small room.

"Anya-" Lexa choked, her green eyes wide and surprised.

"No, Lexa, no! I'm done with waiting to talk! I'm in love with you, and you've never even seen it! I was always there for you before and after Costia. I was your shoulder to cry on, your partner in crime! When Costia came out of nowhere, I was heartbroken, and when you guys broke up I felt hope! And now, I'm getting the same heart broken feeling as before, all because of that little girl that doesn't seem to have a mute button!" I yelled all of this, not caring who heard as long as one of them was Lexa. She was still staring at me with a stunned expression, her face wiped of any emotion. I couldn't tell what she was thinking or how she was feeling, but in that moment I would have paid anything to find out.

"Anya, I'm so sorry." Lexa said, her voice not even cracking. I felt tears at the back of my eyes, making their way down to my cheeks. How could Lexa not even show me emotion? Not even just this once with me? But with Raven and the rest of them it was a totally different story. She not only smiled with them but she laughed, and cursed, and screamed, and showed every ounce of emotion she had in her body. With me, she was just a marble statue, only showing one expression. And that expression always looked bored.

"For what? Not realizing my feelings? Hanging out with Skaikru? Being with Costia? Raven?" I questioned, my voice accusing and harsh. "Lexa, I have a question for you." Lexa looked at me with a wary expression.

"What is it?"

"If you had to choose between me and Raven, who would you choose?" Lexa stared at me with a dumbfounded expression, unbelieving that I could ask her such a question. "Or, better yet, between Skaikru and Grounders?" I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for her answer.

"Anya, I couldn't possibly choose." Lexa said, her voice coaxing. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"But you already did." I pushed past Lexa harshly and ran out of the room. As I ran down the hallway, I could hear Lexa's faint shouting, calling me to come back.

I didn't.

Please check out my friends story, This Secret Love of Mine.  Her account name is SkytheSmol.  Thanks for reading!  Please vote and comment!
-Syd