Islands

18. The Island of Scars

It was not like I had expected Mads to commit. I didn't want that, that would be ridiculous. I was not the type to assume a guy would date a girl for sex. I was realistic, it's the 21st century, meaning that two people could have sex occasionally and be friends at the same time. But the fact that in two months we would be relatives by law changed the entire game.
We could not continue our escapades any longer and the thought of that hurt. The truth was, the ecstasy that I had when I was with Mads was so great that I couldn't even explain it. The feeling I had in my chest when my heart began to beat so fast, the pain between my legs when he came into the room was unbearable, but it was exciting. My entire life was about pleasing my family, being punctual, presentable, classy and remain that way until I escaped my family's tight hold. Sure, many times I was a ghost to them, but in terms of making my own decisions it was impossible to do.

The first time I had ever made my own decision was to major in education, which did not please my parents whatsoever, and it still has not left their mind. So now that I was actually happy with where I was at seemed mind blowing to me. The fact that I smiled more often just by the thought of the pleasure that Mads gave me, the kisses he bestowed, the touches he left, all of it made my face blush and my stomach turn in knots of nervousness. Not only was the pleasure fantastic but the idea that Mads actually desired me made my entire heart burn with passion. He was angry when I talked to other men, he was always staring at me from my eyes to my legs, he was always advancing to me in seductive patterns, he was willing to break every rule in the book to touch me and kiss me. All of it felt overwhelming but exciting. 

It was nearly dinner time, Penelope had made tortellini pasta carbonara with shrimp salad. I was currently sitting at the island in the kitchen, tossing the large salad bowl as other employees began working on dinner service for guests. Penelope had made our family a separate meal like last time when Kristi and the boys went fishing. I was helping, or better yet hiding, and she had noticed the difference. Dinner was almost ready, yet I was not, still wearing my shorts, a t-shirt, and Birkenstock sandals.

"Dear, I've lived for over sixty years and raised two boys and helped raise my niece, don't you think I can't tell that your hiding from something..." She said leaning on the counter, watching me toss the salad a little more before scooting the bowl towards her. 

"I just prefer to be away from other people..." I shrugged. 

"I've noticed, but why?" She looks up at me with an eyebrow raised. 

"I just like being out of the way. Is that so hard to believe." 

I began to tap my fingers on the counter with angst. 

"Spill it, child, I can keep a secret, trust me I was once your age." She smiled as she turned towards the oven to look at the dish. I give a sigh and twist my hips impatiently.

"There are some things that are worth not knowing..." I leave it at that as she pulls the dish out of the oven. 

"Go get ready before you're parents complain. I am very happy you and your brother are joining our family, but child, you're parents are unbearable," She says with a sweetness that makes her insult reasonably sweet. She was right and I was happy she was truthful. 

I turn to go out the door, moving out of the way as it swings open as someone enters the kitchen. A familiar blond haired, unshaven, brown eyed man enters the kitchen. He smells like cigarettes. Ben turns to me nearly shocked to see me. 

"Hi." Hes nervous, which is probably because he knows not to talk to me after the series of glares that Mads has given him when he tries. 

"Hi..." I try to be sweet and friendly but it comes out nervous as his words. I start to leave the kitchen, and exit the door behind him but I hear Ben call out my name as I make my way through the great hall.