Five Choices

XX

New Years

Beth comes over to my house about six days after Christmas and holds out two of the dresses I was thinking about wearing today for the party tonight. Ive waited about two weeks for this party, and finally knowing it's tonight makes me ecstatic. As Beth and I get ready, I receive a text. I bounce over to it and read over the message.

I hope I finally get to meet you tonight. -Drake.

Drake is Andy's friend, the one he went off to find in the mall that one day. Somehow he got my number, and Im guessing Beth gave it to Andy, who transferred my number to Drake. Ever since Dallas somehow got me out of my 'date' with Jamie. I hear Jamie was pretty crestfallen, but then shrugged it off and went with another girl. Now I think everyone is trying to get me to date someone, to make me get over West, and Kyle. I don't want to though.

"So, do you think Kyle or West are going to be there tonight?" Beth asks as she straightens my hair and eyeballs all the makeup she brought thats on my vanity. She said that she wanted to make my eyes pop, and put contacts in them making their hazel color vanish, and replace them with blue. I agreed because I wondered what I would look like with blue eyes. Only I then realized it wasn't possible because of my contacts I already have, and no way am I wearing my glasses to a party like this.

"I hope not. Jax told me that the boys are getting along with each other better than before, and Kyle even talks about a new girl." I tell Beth and look at the new phone Dallas got me, checking for a message from Drake.

"Are you okay about that?" Beth asks, stopping with my hair and turning to look at me. I smile at her, sending her a reassuring smile, for two reasons. One, being Im happy shes back to normal. And two, for her believing me when I said that I wouldn't hook up with John. Although she knows I wont, I still worry.

"Im fine! I guess we were running on...adrenaline?... when we finally realized we liked each other. I think...I think Kyle and I would have hooked up and thats alle would ever come out of our relationship. So in a way Im sort of relieved about the boys, and me. Otherwise Jaxs and Is relationship would be flushed down the drain." I say honestly, looking at myself in the mirror. My face is a little flushed, like it always gets when I talk about the past.

Am I ashamed of what happened? Yes. I am. I think that I am the cause of everyone's relationship going down the drain. I also think that because of surrounding myself by more boys than girls, it just calls for someone to...fall for me. That spells out one word. S-L-U-T. I know thats not the right word-by definition- but I feel as if it explains me. Or Im a whore. What is the right word for someone who hangs out with boys to much?

I have no idea. I know it doesn't only apply for me. I know a lot of girls have friends that are male, all. I mean, I still have Beth, Lacey, and Jen. But counting the boys. Jax, Caiden, Dallas, Jamie, Andy, Blake, Drake, and even West and Kyle, or even Pierce. Thats a lot of boys. But I feel a connection with all of them. Not so much with Pierce, and Blake, West and Kyle, but I still have that spark of friendship growing like a wildfire each and everyday.

"I understand. I think..." Beth trails off, then looks to me in the mirror, her eyes catching mine. "What dress?"

~*~

A couple of hours later, Beth and I stand at the door while my mom takes photos of us like we are going to Senior Prom.

"Mom! Come on! The boys are waiting." I look out to see Dallas and John. I want to meet Drake soon. I think Dallas texted me and told me Drake was along with them. Im excited to meet him. I have no idea why. But I feel like I already know him. That doesn't make sense, but whatever.