It Ends with Goodbye◇Drew Dirksen (Sequel to It Starts with Hello)

Chapter nine.

Trigger warning!! If you don't like very depressing things I advice you to not read this chapter!

Chapter Nine.

My eyes go all about the room looking at my parents first and then Kacey until suddenly I am not looking at any one or anything in particular.

"Drew honey do you need to sit down?" My mother wraps one of her arms around for comfort but I don't obliged and instead go to the dinning room myself.

I sit down on one of the chairs provided by the table set my mother picked out so long ago. I rest my chin on the table and put my arms extended out trying to not think about  anything.

"Are you going to be alright brother?" Kacey asks me and sits down on one of the chairs next to me. Then both of my parents sit in separate chairs as well.

I purse my lips and sit back in the chair normally. I look down and fiddle around with my fingers just to pass time.

My father's voice breaks out to me and I look at him with my eyes barely focused, "Drew we are here for you don't you understand that? I want to make it clear that we love you. That we care."

You didn't care so much when I was in the verge of killing myself now was you pops? My self concoincious says. I try to surpass him and my father as I shake my head gaining looks from my family.

"No." I say and they all look at me with utterly confusion. "I can't just act like none of this happens. Act like you will be there for thoughout this all. I know you won't. "

I slam my hand on the table and I hear my mother gasp. I spring up and push in my chair. I look out the little window that is by the dinning room and then hang my head low. "I can't just assume anything either. Where were you guys when I was at my last boiling point huh? Where were you when I decided to-"

I turn around and see all their shocked faces but that doesn't stop me from continuing, " when I decided to go out on that freeway and kill my best friend!"

"Hun you need rest. Just let this stream by okay? Tommorow will be better. Its just today it's a touchy topic. It will storm away alright? "

No matter how much my mother can do these types of things and actually care for me I can't just leave it at that. I can't just leave it on the table literally. I can't take back what I said about them never being here because it's true.

Within Kacey's horse back riding schedule, my parents schedule , and my own which consists of basically nothing, there isn't any time to be a family like we are suppose to be.

I shake my head, "I guess you are right, " I say in defeat and try to walk up the stairs, "I'm not that hungry you can fix dinner for the rest of you but I won't eat any."

I climb up the stairs feeling like death and go to my room grabbing my hand device. I scroll through Facebook messages. Some saying cruel and unusual things. Some giving sympathy or empathy of some sort. But then I go to the notifications and see the video along with the post.

There it was in black and white. The wreck that changed the whole community. The thing I can't take back away from my life no matter how hard I think it didn't happen.

I reread the post over and over again. The post from a news article. They interviewed several people and all of them were or actually most of them mentioned my name.

The comments section though got to me skin deep  as I scroll and scroll until I realise I have already been in  my room for an hour.

And that's when I know I can't take much more for tonight. I shut my phone off and put it on my nightstand.

Then I roll up my sleeves I'm pure frustration. I sit down on my bed and begin to wonder why did it have to happen to me? Sure I have made friends because of my terrible circumstance but it also broke my heart. I am at my last boiling point as I look at a razor on the chest drawer. I gulp but get up any way.

I promise I could never do anything like that my own words struck to me as i inch closer to the blade. I grab it with my hand and skim my eyes across it.

Then already regretting of what I am about to do I shut my eyes. I draw the blade back and wait for the best feeling of my life to come and relieve me.

Nate is away. Austin is away. The other Austin is dead. Levi hasn't gotten connection with me for days and Violet, my love, is far away that she will never know. My parents and Kacey are downstairs but they never can hear my sobs do so how do i expect them to hear anything.

I try to trace a straight line in my skin and as I open my eyes I know that my goal was accomplished.

The blood trickles down my wrist and it leaves me in temporary bliss until I finally  realise what I did was completely wrong. I throw the blade down on the floor and collapse on the bed with a thud. My eyes growing dark and dark until I am fully passed out and know it.